Livin’ on the Hedge

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I had such a blast making my Shark Week cupcakes last month, I wanted to try out a new set of animal cupcakes featuring my second favorite animal of all time: the hedgehog. Much like how I can relate to the shark’s bottomless hunger and angry resting face, I feel similar kinship to the hedgehog. I am also small, prickly on the outside, and have terrible eyesight. I’ve also been know to roll up into a tiny ball to avoid awkward social situations.

These doughy little spike balls were so much fun to make, and they’re so stinkin’ cute I almost don’t want to eat them…I have to close my eyes to take a bite or it seems like an act of animal cruelty. These rotund babies are cake batter yellow cupcakes with cake batter cream cheese frosting, and although an actual hedgehog wouldn’t go near one, that just leaves more for me. They won’t share the hedge, I won’t share the cupcakes. And at only 170 calories a cupcake (recipe makes 16 total), I’m definitely eating these faster than a hedgehog can scarf down some mealworms (Fun fact! Hedgehogs are primarily insectivores, and feeding them worms and crickets is both a unique and gross experience, and probably the only thing I don’t miss about having a hedgehog).

Have I tried Pamela’s gluten free cake mix on the blog yet? I’ve tried so many, it’s hard to remember. But considering how great Pamela is at making giant gluten free fig jammies, I was hoping her cake mix would be aces as well. Happy to report: very yummy, very soft, and very easy to adapt. For the yellow cake batter cupcakes, you need:

• 1 bag of Pamela’s vanilla cake mix
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 cup (111 grams) unsweetened applesauce
• 1 tsp cake batter extract (I find mine at Walmart)
• 2/3 cup of fat free or skim milk

Preheat your oven to 325 and line two muffin tins with 16-18 cupcake wrappers. Mix the eggs, applesauce, extract, and milk until smooth on low in a stand mixer. Add in the cake mix, and mix on low for two minutes until smooth. This batter will be very runny. Also, this cake mix REALLY puffs up (totes apropes since hedgehogs are super puffy, too), so definitely only fill your cupcake liners 2/3 of the way full. I definitely went for 3/4 of the way and all my cakes were overflowing. I easily could’ve make 18 cupcakes instead of 16. Bake for 20-22 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean from the center of the cupcake.

Let the cupcakes cool in the pan for 10 minutes on a cooling rack before removing from the pan and cooling completely on said cooling rack again. You can put these in the fridge while you make your frosting.

This is me underselling cake batter extract: it is the single greatest extract I have or will ever use in a frosting recipe. This frosting tastes exactly like cake batter; we all know we’re not supposed to lick the spoon or the beaters, but we do. We risk salmonella because cake batter just tastes that good. It’s worth it. OK, now imagine this flavor, but in frosting form…and without risk of hospitalization due to a bacterial infection. It’s a miracle. Here’s everything you need for the frosting and the decorating:

• 8 ounces (225 grams) 1/3 the fat cream cheese at room temp
• 1 cup (226 grams) fat free Greek yogurt, strained overnight to remove moisture
• 4 cups (1 bag 16 ounce) of Lakanto powdered monkfruit
• 1.5 tsp cake batter extract
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• Gel dyes in black, brown, and beige
• Tips 1A (or another large round tip like an 806 or 808), two #2 round tips, one #80 tip for ears and feetsies, one grass tip for spikes

Blend the cream cheese and yogurt until smooth; add in half of the monkfruit and both extracts. Mix well on medium speed. Add in the remaining monkfruit and blend well. If the frosting is too stiff, add in a tablespoon of milk. Dye half of the frosting beige for the hedgehog’s body, ears, and feet. Dye a tiny bit black for the eyes and nose, and dye the rest brown for the spikes.

I wanted to create a two-toned look to my hedgehog spikes, so I took two piping bags, one fitted with a grass tip and the other fitted with a #2 tip, and painted beige buttercream up the sides of each bag with an angled spatula. Then I placed my brown frosting into the center of each bag, piping out a little until the colors started to mix. I put my black frosting into a bag fitted with the other #2 tip, a small amount of beige into a bag fitted with he #80 tip, and the remaining beige into a bag with my 1A large round tip.

I was a little bit on hedge when I first tried piping out the body with my 1A tip. I found the best way was to pipe with my tip straight down on the cupcake’s surface, making a flat, circular mound of frosting. Once I had a big enough mound, I stopped piping, with my tip still in the center, then slowly dragged my tip downward to create that little point at the very end to make the space for a face. It took me a couple hedgies to get this just right, so just know if you try this, everything quill be alright in the end. Some of your hedgie cakes may have double, triple, or even quadruple chins, but as someone who accidentally opens her front-facing camera on her phone while looking down at it frequently, same. We may have many chins, but we’re still adorable.

I took a toothpick and drew a little widow’s peak on each head/face area so I knew where to stop piping before dotting the eyes and nose onto each. You can really have fun with these because each face shape will inevitably end up a little different than the last, so they all have their own personality. Then I froze my cupcakes for 30 minutes so the body would be firm enough to pipe the spikes onto.

Once firmed up, you can use your grass tip to pipe on the body and pull away quickly to make spikes. I found it easiest to go around the outside and work my way toward the face. The biggest pain here is how quickly the grass tip gets clogged up. I used a toothpick about every third row of spikes to clean out the nozzles.

Once you get closer to the face, it is easier to switch to the other bag with the #2 tip and brown/beige frosting mix to fill in the smaller areas or any empty patches on the body.

To make the world’s cutest ears and teeny feetsies, I used the #80 tip, piping near the top of the head. I placed my bag straight up and piped a small amount, pushing down to squish the ears a little before pulling the piping bag away. I did the same technique to pipe the feet.

Terrible puns? Just roll with it like a hedgehog would. I am just giddy that these turned out the way I was hoping. Each one is a little different, whether it’s the face, ears, quill patterns, or ridiculous number of chins. I did take breaks to let my frosting refirm in the freezer since this yogurt and cream cheese combo gets soft under the heat of your hands quickly, but the flavor is worth the few extra minutes. The cupcakes themselves are really light and airy with a great cake batter flavor, and the frosting is next level cake batter goodness. It’s decadent without being too heavy, which is almost dangerous because I want to eat several at a time. These cupcakes have fueled my want for both more cupcakes and another hedgehog (for keeping, not eating). I will make do with the cupcakes for now, and dream of the day I can have another cranky, huffy, tiny little adorable animal to run my life. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

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