Time Waits for Snowmen

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I think we’re all pretty familiar with the classic TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. My Cliff Notes version for anyone under the age of 35: dejected red-nosed reindeer meets misfit elf who’s really into dental work, and both also eventually meet a greedy prospector looking for gold (but somehow misses the goldmine that is a red-nosed reindeer. Brilliant.). They get caught up beefin’ over turf with the Bumble, a.k.a., the Abominable Snowman, who seems to have a really bad case of hunger anger. There are escapades, hella weird toys on an island, and it’s all really kind of a Christmas-LSD-induced fever dream. I happen to have a very soft spot in my chilly little heart for the Bumble because I, too, often experience hanger, love the cold, and generally enjoy terrifying anyone that comes near me. I decided this holiday, I did not want to build a snowman; I wanted to build a terrifying yeti.

My boy Bumble here is a peppermint white cake with peppermint cream cheese frosting; I only made a single layer cake since my husband is really getting tired of me force-feeding him sweets, and I have zero self-control around cake. It’s snow secret that I am always trying to bake macro-friendly bites, and even with frosting, this cake comes to 156 calories a slice for eight slices total. And every bite is HEAVEN. I’m normally a huge fan of chocolate and peppermint, but letting the peppermint take center stage here was a snow-brainer. This cake is fluffy and light, minty, and tastes so perfect with a cream cheese frosting. It’s a scratch recipe and not from a box, but it really is simple to put together. You can double the recipe to make two 8-inch rounds or three 6-inch rounds if you’re not tired of eating dessert yet this season and actually have willpower (congrats, you’re as rare as a unicorn or the Bumble himself!).

To make this, all things considered, very healthy but somehow still tasty peppermint cake, you need:

• 124 grams (1 cup) gluten free flour (can use regular flour if not gluten free)
• 45 grams protein powder, divided (I swear by baking with Quest protein powders)
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 42 grams (3 TBS) light butter (light butter is pretty soft already, so you can usually use this straight from the fridge; if you’re using full-fat butter, soften it first)
• 113 grams (1/2 cup) fat free plain Greek yogurt
• 1/2 cup + 2 TBS fat free or skim milk
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp peppermint extract

I used convection bake at 350 degrees to make this, but 350 on regular bake setting will also work; it just might take a few minutes longer to fully cook. Start by whisking together the flour, half of the protein powder, baking soda, and baking powder together in a medium bowl; set this aside. In your stand mixing bowl, blend the butter and other half of the protein powder until smooth and fluffy; about 1-2 minutes. Then add in the yogurt, milk, egg, and extract, blending on medium until everything has come together, another minute or so. Dump the dry mix into the wet mix, and mix on medium for 1 minute, just until everything has come together. Prepare an 8″ round pan with cooking spray, and pour batter into the pan. Bake for 20 minutes. A toothpick should come out of the center of the cake clean. Let rest in the pan for 10 minutes before turning out to cool completely on a cooling rack before frosting.

To make the cream cheese frosting, you’ll need:

• 225 grams (8 ounces) of 1/3 the fat cream cheese, softened
• 226 grams (1 cup) of fat free Greek yogurt, strained overnight to remove moisture
• 16 ounces (4 cups) Lakanto powdered monkfruit or regular powdered sugar
• 1 tsp peppermint extract
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 TBS milk
• Gel dyes in red, black, light blue, and dark blue

Whip the cream cheese and yogurt with a paddle attachment in your stand mixer until fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add in half the monkfruit, and both extracts. Blend well, then scrape the bowl before adding the remaining monkfruit and 1 TBS milk; if the frosting is too stiff, add another TBS milk.

Now, you can do a whole crumb coat of frosting if you’d like, but I only added a tiny layer to the top of the cake because I am a work smarter not harder person, if you catch my (snow)drift, and I knew the sides would be completely piped over. Grab a few small bowls and plop some frosting into each. You will need the following:

• A small amount of black for the eyes, mouth, and nose
• A small amount of light blue for the top half of Bumble’s face
• A small amount of dark blue for the bottom half of Bumble’s face
• A tiny amount of red for Bumble’s tongue
• A bunch of white for his hair, eyes, and teeth
• Hair/grass tip (#233), some small round tips (#3, #5, for finer details, #12 for larger sections), and an open star tip for the sides (#32 or #199)

Can someone tell me if Bumble and Cookie monster a related? Because that would definitely check out. I used the dark blue frosting fitted with a #12 tip to draw the outline of his mouth…don’t worry, the best is yeti to come. Then I filled this in with the black frosting in a piping bag fitted with a #12 tip. I used an angled spatula to smooth out the line around his mouth, and after wiping clean, smoothed out the inside of the mouth as well.

With a #12 tip and my light blue frosting, I piped the top half of his face. I outlined first like I did with the mouth, then filled in and smoothed with my angled spatula.

Now, take the tiny bit of red frosting and put into a piping bag with a #5 tip. Draw a tongue on the bottom of his mouth in the black. Think of piping something that’s the same shape as the top half of a drawn heart. I smoothed out the tongue with my angled spatula (this thing put in overtime for this cake), and plopped ol’ Bumble in the freezer to set for 30 minutes to firm (and because he likes the cold).

Sorry, he is ABSOLUTELY terrifying to look at like this; even though he’s a monster and all, so very quickly, use a #12 tip to pipe the outline of his eyes. I used a toothpick to draw the circles where I wanted them to be so it was easy to trace with my piping bag.

Yes, much less nightmare fuel with eyes. So once I filled in and smoothed out his eyes with, yes, you guessed it, my angled spatula, I took my black frosting, switching to a #3 tip, and drew in his pupils, outlined his eyes, and piped nostrils. I outlined his nose and added lines (clearly there’s no Botox available at the North Pole) around his eyes with my light blue frosting and #12 tip.

Using my white frosting with a #3 tip, I outlined his fierce fangs before filling them in. You can use a toothpick here to outline where you want his teeth to go as well before you pipe.

Clearly, Bumble is still brushing his teeth twice a day because look at those pearly whites! I used a toothpick and a tiny painter’s knife to smooth out his teeth and give my angled spatula some rest. Now, time to make a yeti fur coat!

I switched my piping tip on my white frosting to a grass/hair tip, and piped a few layers of hair all over the top of the cake, starting by framing his face and mouth, then working outward. Use a bit of pressure and pull out and away to make strands of hair.

Because piping with a grass tip is tedious at best, I switched to a #199 open star tip to pipe thicker fur around the sides of the cake. I pulled out and down to get this texture, making 3 rows around the sides of the cake to finish Mr. Bumble.

Well, this was an absolutely ridiculous joy to put together. I have wanted to make a Bumble cake or cupcakes for quite some time, given my penchant for loving a misunderstood villain (Hi, Loki…). He is so adorably weird and dorky, and it brings me joy to stand in front of the fridge and see him smile (or snarl? I’m not sure what it is) until eventually I get too cold and have to close the door, but tis the season to be freezin’, so I am happy he’s there to greet my midnight snacking. Also thrilled with how yummy this riff on a protein cake turned out. It is un-brr-lieveablely good…plenty of peppermint taking center stage with the white cake, and the peppermint cream cheese is divine. It’s soft, it’s minty, it’s a Bumble…what more could you ask for for Christmas? I know, world peace would be nice…but I think if everyone had a slice of this cake, they’d be a lot happier, too. ‘Til next time my fellow eaters!

Recipe and Instructions