Winter Birthday Cake

Since winter clearly forgot to show up this year (one sad snow sighting does not count), I took matters into my own frosting-covered hands and gave myself the only snowstorm I could rely on in the form of my 39th birthday cake. This icy showstopper is dripping in white-and-blue snowflakes, pearly sprinkles, and an irresponsible amount of opalescent edible glitter…because if I’m aging, I’m doing it loudly and sparkly. Consider this cake my official response to the weather, time itself, and anyone who thinks birthdays should be “low-key.” If Mother Nature won’t deliver snow, I’ll simply bake it instead. Somewhere between the snowflakes and the final dusting of glitter, I realized both myself and my kitchen were wearing more edible glitter than an exotic dancer…so subtlety was clearly not the goal.

Proof that 39 comes with extra shine.

Somewhere between adding “just one more” sprinkle and fully transforming myself into a sparkly human beacon visible from space, I completely forgot to document the process. No step-by-step photos. No satisfying decorating videos. Just vibes, glitter, and zero regrets. But fear not: below you’ll find a very thorough list of everything you need and clear, no-nonsense instructions so you can recreate this winter wonderland without also becoming part of the decor (unless you want to, which I fully support).

Recipe and Instructions

Almond cake with protein almond buttercream frosting



If not gluten free, use any kind of white or yellow cake mix. Monkfruit can also be replaced with regular powdered sugar for frosting. Protein powder can also be replaced with additional monkfruit or regular powdered sugar.

Ingredients

CAKE
*1 box of gluten free yellow cake mix (I used Pillsbury funfetti)
*1 cup fat free or skim milk
*75 g (1/3 cup) unsweetened applesauce
*3 eggs
*1 tsp almond extract

FROSTING
*225 g (1/2 cup) softened butter
*12 ounces Lakanto powdered monkfruit
*4 ounces Quest vanilla milkshake protein powder (cuts the sweetness of the monkfruit and makes a nice, stiff, spreadable frosting; omit and use all monkfruit if desired)
*1 TBS clear vanilla
*1/4 tsp almond extract
*1/2 cup + 2 TBS milk
*1/4 tsp citric acid if you like less sweet frosting

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 and grease three 6-inch pans.
  2. Whisk cake ingredients together in a stand mixer on low for 60 seconds before switching to medium-high for two minutes.
  3. Pour batter evenly into pan and bake for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out mostly clean from the center.
  4. Allow cake to cool fully before frosting.
  5. To make frosting, whip butter for 3 minutes before adding in half the powdered monkfruit, protein powder, vanilla, almond, and milk.
  6. Add in remaining monkfruit and 1-2 drops of light blue food coloring to make everything a wintry blue. Mix fully.
  7. Once fully cooled, frost your cake and smooth with a scraper; place in the freezer for 15 minutes while you work on melting the chocolate.
  8. Melt white chocolate melts according to package directions and let cool for a couple minutes. You don’t need a ton, just enough to go around the top edges of the cake.
  9. Use a spoon to drizzle the chocolate melts down the sides of the cake.
  10. While the chocolate melts set, you can alternate light blue and white edible snowflakes around the cake.
  11. Once snowflakes are placed, come in with varying sizes of the edible blue sprinkles and place where desired.
  12. Once chocolate has set, take a food-safe paint brush and dip into the opal shimmer, painting dust directly on the hardened white chocolate melts.
  13. To finish, sprinkle the top of the cake with the opal shimmer, then take a small amount in your palm and blow directly onto the sides of the cake.
  14. Keep cake covered and in the fridge. It is best served at room temp, so remove from fridge 30 minutes before eating. Enjoy!

Nutrition


Macros
12 servings
302 cal/26.2 c/17.2 f/10.7 p per slice

Sparkle level: absolutely unnecessary, completely intentional
Age is just a number. Glitter is a lifestyle.
She’s icy. She’s shiny. She’s absolutely extra.
If you’re not finding edible glitter three days later, did you even celebrate?

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