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Much like how a shark has to keep swimming to stay alive, my inner monologue has to churn out a convoluted stretch of dialogue to keep me running. For example, my thoughts on today’s morning dog walk:

• What do I need to get done today? Run through checklist.
• Is Kim Kardashian’s butt actually real? Ponder for a few moments how comfortable it must be for her to sit down.
• Will my students ever believe me when I tell them a complete sentence does, in fact, require a subject, verb, and must form a complete thought? This thought I ponder often. They’re adults.
• What would my life be like if I had grown to be four inches taller? I also think about this more than would ever be necessary…but tall Kate sure does enjoy her modeling career from what I gather.

Welcome, you’ve now fallen down the rabbit hole that is my mind. After reading such a disjointed series of thoughts, I can see how you might believe I spend a little too much time smoking the ganja. But I promise you, I am no stoner…but if I was, I’d like to think I would have had the wherewithal to name this blog “Baked Kate Bakes Cakes.” Oh, and as I am pretty sure the shark is my spirit animal, this will probably be the first of many comparisons between myself and these undiscriminating eating machines. Om nom nom.

I describe my inner monologue to you because as I set foot into Hobby Lobby and reached the cake decorating and accessories aisle, my head almost exploded. Too. Many. Thoughts. At. Once. Aside from the fact that I had no idea what half of the shit I was looking at was designed to do other than cost me a buttload of money, I was also a little disappointed that the cake decorating aisle was just that…ONE aisle. I suppose out here in BFE I should be happy we even have said HobLob, so I begrudgingly carried on and perused the aisle approximately 10 times (no one can ever say I’m not thorough). I knew I needed cake pans of varying circular sizes, a cake leveler, frosting bags, and various tips. But perhaps the thing I needed MOST OF ALL eluded me…

You know, the FIRST book in the series.

The store only had course book number two and another general book on decorating (if you lived here, you’d know how this makes perfect sense because they probably haven’t stocked this aisle since the store opened). So now I’ve got course book number two, but I’m told trying to skip step one before going on to step two is like trying to skip step one before going on to step two…generally not how you follow a plan of action. On to Amazon I went and found book numero uno. Hopefully it will be here within a week’s time so I can actually begin practicing my mad frosting skills. Whether I use the adjective mad here as in “crazy good” or “Oh my God she frosts cake like she’s actually a crazy person” remains to be seen. I also bought the general decoration book I plan to mull over, so hopefully I can get some practice in and update you on my progress. I know you’re waiting with bated breath, obviously…who wouldn’t when a potentially free cake is involved?

I am still jazzed up about this. So much so I actually just used the phrase jazzed up. But actually dropping dough (ha, see what I did there) on my supplies made it more than just an idea I’ve been throwing around, and now something I’ve committed to working on which makes me very happy. OCD, OCD, rah rah, OCD! My loot:

Don’t ask me where the Maurices bag came from, I’m pleading the fifth…They sell aprons, right?

I’ll tell you I certainly didn’t leave the HobLob for under 100 bucks (nor have I ever), so to justify this expense, I better step away from the keyboard and get some reading done. The hubster and I are “going to the city” on Saturday (yes, that is a real thing we have to do, and the city is Lubbock) for a belated anniversary celebration because we’re some of the few people who genuinely enjoy spending so much time with each other its obnoxious, so I hope to churn out some practice icing on Sunday. Til next time, my fellow eaters.