Birthday Cake Calories Don’t Count

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Having a birthday so close to several major holidays used to be kind of a bummer as a child. People would roll Christmas and birthday presents together or forget about my birthday entirely, friends would always be out of town, or it would be the first week back to school. Now that I’ve gotten older, I am actually quite thankful my birthday is so close to Christmas and New Year’s because it’s very easy to pretend it doesn’t exist…you know, just let another year go quietly into the night. Or I mean, it would be, if my hobby wasn’t cake baking. Each year the cake turns into a bigger fire hazard, so we skip candles now and just get to the good part.

This semi-naked cake is an early birthday wish come true: someone finally found it in their hearts to make gluten free Speculoos cookies, so after four long years, I can once again eat Biscoff-flavored cookies to my heart’s content (and my heart is very content on crushing a box as often as possible). Biscoff cake with caramel cream cheese frosting sandwiched between layers, topped with sugar free homemade caramel sauce, and cookies on top…in a word, this cake is everything I hope my 36th year on this planet cracks up to be: epic (close second runner-up: rich). Something magical happens every time I take bite, and I’m whisked away to a Biscoff-flavor-induced dreamland where everything tastes phenomenal and a river of caramel takes me swiftly to nirvana. Basically, this birthday cake is so dang good I don’t even care that I’m almost another year older. Because we’re going out of town for my actual birthday (and because I’m a Type-A, plan-making, definition of a Capricorn), I made this early. Birthdays turn into birthweeks in this house. And since birthday cake calories don’t count for me, I’ll let you know this recipe is 323 calories a slice for 10 slices total for anyone having an unbirthday. Which still isn’t bad, all things considered, and can definitely fit into any New Year’s resolutions.

If they ever start making actual gluten free cookie butter, that’s it…my days of eating mindfully and healthy are OVER. Back to eating like we’re 22! To make this spectacular Speculoos cake, you’ll need:

• 1 box of gluten free yellow cake mix (or regular yellow or white cake mix if not gluten free, you cookie-butter-having jerk)
• 4 eggs
• 4 ounces (1/2 cup) unsweetened applesauce
• 1 1/4 cups skim or fat free milk
• 100 grams (about 14 Schar Biscoff cookies or one package) of gluten free Speculoos, ground into a fine powder in your food processor (or Lotus Biscoff if you’re once again gluten free. Jerk.)

Preheat your oven to 350 and prepare three 6-inch round cake pans with cooking spray and bake even strips. Add all cake ingredients into a stand mixer, blending on low for 30 seconds before switching to medium high for one and half minutes. Pour batter evenly into each pan and bake for 35 minutes. A toothpick should come out of the center of the cake clean. Let rest in the pan for 10 minutes before turning out to cool completely on a cooling rack before frosting.

While your cakes cool, you can make the caramel sauce for the drip. You’ll need:

• 200 grams (1 cup) of Allulose or regular sugar; I used Madhava brand allulose, picked up at my Albertson’s
• 86 grams (6 TBS) light butter
• 120 mL (1/2 cup) heavy whipping cream
• 1/4-1 tsp salt (depending on your taste preferences; I used 1/4 tsp)

I recommend premeasuring everything you need because you’ll have to constantly stir to make the caramel. Start by adding the Allulose or regular sugar to a medium saucepan; on medium-high heat, continuously stir (use a wooden spoon) the Allulose for 5-6 minutes, until it has turned into a liquid and is a beautiful shade of amber (see above). Now, lower heat to medium, switch to a whisk, and add in the butter. Things will get very bubbly and very dangerous (like me after a glass of champagne!), so be careful while you whisk for 2-3 minutes until the butter is completely melted to keep from getting liquid hot magma splattered on your arms. Once you’ve passed this, the most treacherous of caramel making stages (it isn’t for the weak), slowly whisk in the heavy whipping cream until completely absorbed. Let this boil for a minute before removing from heat and whisking in the salt. You will need to let this come to room temp over about an hour before using.

To make the caramel cream cheese frosting, you’ll need:

• 225 grams (8 ounces) of 1/3 the fat cream cheese, softened
• 226 grams (1 cup) of fat free Greek yogurt, strained overnight to remove moisture
• 16 ounces (4 cups) Lakanto powdered monkfruit or regular powdered sugar
• 1 tsp caramel extract
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 TBS milk

Whip the cream cheese and yogurt with a paddle attachment in your stand mixer until fluffy, about three minutes. Add in half the monkfruit, and both extracts. Blend well, then scrape the bowl before adding the remaining monkfruit and 1 TBS milk; if the frosting is too stiff, add another TBS milk.

To assemble, you just need to slather a layer of buttercream on top of a cooled cake layer, then add another layer (I always place them face down so the smooth surface on the bottom of the cake is now on top), and repeat. I wanted to make this a semi-naked cake, you know, so it would be the one wearing the birthday suit, so I did not use all of my frosting.

You can place a hefty amount of frosting on top of the cake, and while smoothing that out, push excess down the sides of the cake. Dollop on a little frosting anywhere that is completely bare, then come in and make a pass with a cake scraper around the whole cake. Wipe off any frosting, and come back through and make another pass all over the cake with your scraper to remove more frosting. Keep repeating this process until you have your cake with just a thin layer of frosting covering the sides.

Now, place this in the freezer to firm up for at least 15 minutes to help slow down the drip of the caramel.

Once your cake frosting is set and your caramel is cooled to room temp, you can use a spoon to drizzle drips down the side of the cake at your liking. Finish by adding a bit of caramel to the top as well. I only used 1/3 of the caramel sauce I made, so I am keeping the rest in an airtight container in the fridge to use on ice cream, waffles, ice cream with waffles…you get the idea.

Once I had my drip the way I wanted it (or rather, the way gravity wanted it), I loaded some frosting into a piping bag with a 6B tip, but any large open star tip will work- 2D, 1M, etc.

I piped large frosting mounds around the top of the cake, then sandwiched these mounds between delicious Schar Biscoff cookies…I have no idea why they’re in the shape of elephants, windmills, and horseys, but as long as I can keep buying 10-20 boxes every winter to last me through the year, they could be in the shape of cockroaches and dog poo, and I’d still buy them. That’s how much I missed Speculoos flavor.

I mean, I’m still alive and cake-ing, so I can’t really complain. All my fellow close to Christmas babies, just do yourself a favor and make sure someone makes this cake for you (or like a true Capricorn, do it yourself because asking for favors is icky, and we refuse to make anyone help us even when they want to!). I am SO delighted with the spice from the Speculoos in the cake, and the caramel frosting is next-level cream cheese goodness. But honestly? To me, the star of the show is the caramel sauce. Allulose isn’t quite as sweet as regular sugar, so I can finally make a caramel sauce that doesn’t make my teeth feel like they’re gonna fall out. Because I’m turning 36 and not six, so I have acquired a more advanced taste palette (says the woman who still eats gluten free chicken tendies and mac and cheese every week). Growing up is optional, I guess! As we start another year, and I prepare to celebrate another trip around the sun, thanks to each and every one of you who make my life great and inspire me to keep baking. ‘Til next time my fellow eaters!

Recipe and Instructions