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  • Back to Boozy Basics

    This summer, we’ve decided our cocktail of choice is the French 75. Parallels from current political and social climate aside, I swear we didn’t pick this one because I’m French and feeling revolution-y. Truly, it’s because I’m on a gin kick. If you’ve never had a French 75, it’s champagne, gin, simple syrup, and lemon served over ice. It is insanely refreshing; therefore, it’s the perfect summer drink between the fizzy bubbles, tart lemon, and smooth gin finish. If you hate gin, chances are, you’re just not drinking the right gin. A good gin shouldn’t leave you wondering if you just drank Lysol or a liquefied Christmas tree. A good gin should leave you wondering if it’s time to buy a new car or invest in a better 401(k). Basically, it should leave you feeling like a very classy adult with very excellent taste. Since I wanted to be able to achieve this feeling more than once every 7 days for my weekly scheduled single Saturday night cocktail, I decided to turn the French 75 into edible form.
    Summertime, and the livin’s gin-y.

    Topped with candied lemons and filled with plenty of alcohol, these French 75 cupcakes allow me to achieve peak adulthood while still being able to enjoy myself like a child. It’s a magical balance, thanks largely in part to the champagne and the champagne cream cheese frosting coming together to create a dessert that’s as classy as it is fun. The texture is light and airy thanks to the bubbles, and the lemon give a nice zip of tartness to a sweet and smooth flavor left by the gin. I’m having a hard time eating them in a single serving. Especially since I chose low calorie boozes and these cupcakes are only 129 calories a piece (24 total). A wise Ron Swanson once said, “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets,” and I simply couldn’t agree more. They’re also deceptively easy to make, even the candied lemons! I found a strategy to candy them that is both quick and foolproof, so get ready to whip up a batch of these magnificent, tasty cupcakes in like an hour and a half total.

    Ryan Reynold’s Aviation Gin is as much a Canadian treasure as the man himself.

    Along with a quick prep time, the ingredients list is also extremely straightforward. You need:
    • 1 box of sugar free yellow cake mix (or sugar free white cake mix if you can find it! This would let the flavors of the alcohol shine through more)
    • 3 egg whites
    • 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
    • 1 tsp of lemon extract or juice from 1/2-1 lemon to taste
    • 1 cup of a sweeter champagne (I used Martini & Rossi Asti)
    • 1/4 of good gin–Aviation, Hendricks, or the Botanist. Stay away from Bombay and Tanqueray. These are inferior gins!
    To make, preheat your oven to 350 and line two muffin tins with cupcake papers. Mix together all ingredients in a stand mixer on medium-high for 2 minutes.
    Soon, you will be perfect.
    I use a cookie scoop (a little larger than a tablespoon), and plop two drops of batter into each cupcake liner. This is the easiest and least messy way to deal with cupcakes. Bake for 20 minutes, or until the cakes have a nice blonde color to them and a toothpick comes out of the center clean. At this point, turn the oven off so it can cool down enough for the candied lemons.
    I wish I looked this good after a 20-minute prep time.
    Let your cupcakes cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then remove to completely cool on a cooling rack. Admire them from afar as you make your frosting and candied lemons.
    This really could not be any easier, I swear.
    For the candied lemons, you need a couple medium-sized lemons and some lemon drop candies. Preheat your oven to 275.
    Slice each lemon thinly until you have at least 12 slices. Cut these slices in half for 24 slices total.
    Now, the fun part. Take about 10 lemon drops, and smash them up! I used a Ziplock and my meat tenderizer, crushing into fine pieces. Then I placed Parchment down on a large baking sheet and placed all my lemon slices in a single layer. I sprinkled the crushed candy on top of each lemon, rubbing in the pieces and ensuring the rinds got plenty of candy on them.
    It looks weird, but it works.
    Now, bake this for 45-50 minutes at 275. Check on them around the 40 minute mark–if you’ve sliced them super duper thin, they won’t take that long for the candy to melt and, well, candy the lemons. The rinds should be soft, and the middle of the lemon should be almost transparent. Remove these from the tray right away so they don’t get stuck to the paper. I let mine cool off on a cooling rack until completely hardened. These are still quite tart compared to a traditional candied lemon, but those take about 3+ hours to make, so pick your battles. I will say the lemon drop melted on the lemon adds a nice bit of sweetness to the point that it feels like you’re having a glass of lemonade when you eat one. You could also try doing this with 1/4 cup of regular sugar in lieu of the crushed candies for an even sweeter result.
    Plus, they’re super pretty.
    The thinner the slices, the more crunchy and candied they will taste. Everything is completely edible, even the rind, this way.
    Champagne pairs surprisingly well with cream cheese. Thanks, science experiment gone right!
    I wasn’t sure if cream cheese and champagne would work together. Sure, a glass of champagne with a charcuterie board is my idea of a perfect meal, but I’m talking Gouda and Havarti, not soft and tangy cream cheese. Thankfully, my original opinion needed not apply because these two make an amazing frosting. For the champagne cream cheese you need:
    • 8 ounces of 1/3 fat cream cheese at room temp
    • 1/2 cup of reduced fat butter at room temp
    • 4 cups of Lakanto powdered monkfruit sweetener
    • 2 tsp champagne
    • 1 tsp lemon extract
    • 1 tsp gin
    This is not a stiff frosting; if you’re looking for something that will crust or pipe in very intricate shapes, you’ll want to add in 1/4 cup of shortening or 1/2 cup of additional butter. This is a nice, smooth frosting that will pipe simple shapes (see below), but needs to be kept in the fridge.
    Start by whipping the butter and cream cheese for 2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Add in half the Lakanto and the champagne, mixing well. Add in the rest of the Lakanto, the gin, and the lemon extract, mixing well. If you’re simply slapping on the frosting and calling it a day, go ahead and frost the (completely cooled) cupcakes. If you want to pipe a simple design, put the frosting (still in the bowl) into the fridge for about 15-20 minutes to firm back up.
    Swirls and flowers can be achieved if the frosting is cold.
    After letting it firm back up, I loaded half my frosting into a piping bag with a 1M tip. I left the other half in the fridge. I piped a simple small traditional whirl on about 3/4 of the cupcake’s surface, then piped three little flowers in the leftover surface. I did about half this way. I reloaded my bag and finished the other half with larger traditional whirls only. Once piped, take a cooled candied lemon slice and wiggle into the center of every whirl:
    *Chef’s kiss*
    So, so summery!

    I really like how both designs turned out.

    But this right here, is absolutely the most perfect whirl I have ever made in 5+ years of cake decorating. LOOK AT IT!
    Adorable, summery decorations aside, these are the most refreshing cupcakes I’ve ever tasted. I know I’ve been bagging on anything that isn’t a cheesecake lately, but these turned out so much better than I imagined they would in initial recipe creation phase. The cakes are so light and fluffy, and the frosting is the perfect balance of sweet meets tart and refreshing thanks to the lemon extracts and champagne. Everything finishes with this insanely smooth, mellow flavor blend thanks to the gin. With good gin, all things are possible. Plus there’s a nice little kick from that candied lemon to boot. It had been awhile since I spent the afternoon baking, and it was a welcome change to unplug from *gestures wildly* all of this, and just focus on doing something I absolutely love and enjoy. 2020 may be a giant dumpster fire, but I’m gonna keep things as classy as I can with the help of the liquid and solid forms of the French 75. Mais oui! ‘Til next time, fellow eaters.
    French 75 cocktail? Check. French 75 cupcake? Check. I am having my cake and drinking it, too!
  • Cakes/Cheesecakes/Cupcakes

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  • Birthday…Cheesecake? Yep, It's a Thing.

    Birthdays…I tend to avoid mine like I owe them money. I was pretty much born a 40 year old mentally, but each passing year that brings me closer to one physically (The wrinkles? Things hurting for no reason?), gives me the desire to completely ignore my birthdays still exist. My husband, on the other hand, approaches birthdays fearlessly and with a zest for life, like he does everything else (I’m pretty sure the only thing in this world he fears and avoids are my freezing cold feet touching him in the middle of the night). Because of this, I like to top myself each year with his birthday dessert. We knew he would be gone for work on his actual birthday, and I made his annual birthday treat early so we could enjoy it all week long while basking in the glory of all that is Derek! Since I’ve been knocking the cheesecake game out of the park recently, I am sure it will come as absolutely no surprise to you that he requested a cheesecake instead of a traditional birthday cake. As someone who’s trying to give Cheesecake Factory a run for their money, I took this opportunity and went as decadent as I could.

    *Macadamia nut heeeeaaaveeeennnn.*
    So we all know the only thing white chocolate belongs in is a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie, until now. I absolutely abhor white chocolate–I find it to be a travesty to actual, real chocolate, parading around calling itself chocolate when it’s really just made of cocoa butter. But pairing a cocoa butter interloper with a buttery macadamia nut–this is the only reason white chocolate should exist. This is my husband’s favorite cookie, and I was hoping I could transition it into his favorite cheesecake…because as much as I love him, birthday cookies are not a real thing. Birthday cheesecakes, however, totally legitimate. While it isn’t exactly low in the calorie department at 370 calories a slice for 12 slices total, consider for a moment that one slice of white chocolate macadamia nut cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory is 1,540 calories, 370 seems pretty darn low. I didn’t even have to sacrifice flavor. A golden graham cracker crust sits below a silky and sweet cheesecake filled with chopped macadamia nuts. And if I do say so myself, it looks incredibly classy in comparison to the Cheesecake Factory’s tower of calories.
    And it’s gluten freeee!
    To begin the journey to guilt-free cheesecake bliss, start by making your crust. I make a graham cracker crust that comes together in seconds and is insanely easy. You need:
    • 3 TBS reduced fat butter (cold from the fridge)
    • 2 TBS Swerve granular
    • 1 cup of graham cracker crumbs–I use Kinnikinnick (say that three times fast) gluten free graham crumbs, purchased on Amazon
    Preheat your oven to 375 and dump everything into a small food processor and blend until the crumbs are wet. Spray an 8″ springform pan with cooking spray, line with Parchment paper, and spray that for good measure. Press the crumbs into the pan using the bottom of the measuring cup you used earlier to measure your crumbs. I spray this with cooking spray as well. This makes a nice thin crust, so if you’re looking for one of those over-the-sides crusts, you’d probably need to double this recipe. But why allow graham crackers to cover the side of your beautiful cheesecake? I’ve always wondered this. I want to see what’s inside!
    Bake your crust for 10-12 minutes at 375, until nice and golden:
    More on the liners and gobs of foil later.
    Now, place your crust on a cooling rack and shove this in the fridge to cool off quickly. Reduce your oven temp to 350.
    And prepare for greatness.
    While the crust cools, it’s time to make that wonderful white chocolate macadamia nut cheesecake filling. You need:
    • 4 ounces of macadamia nuts (crushed with a mallet or chopped in a food processor); plus 1 additional ounce for topping
    • 16 ounces of reduced fat cream cheese at room temp
    • 1/2 cup of Swerve granular
    • 1/2 cup of light sour cream at room temp
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • 1 cup of quality* white chocolate chips, like Ghirardelli brand, melted according to package directions and cooled for about 10 minutes (*Don’t use wafers or candy melts. Ew.)
    • 3 eggs (I know, I’m missing an egg in this picture. I’m sure I was distracted by something shiny.)
    Start by beating the cream cheese and sugar together in a stand mixer on medium high until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Then add the sour cream and vanilla extract, mixing on medium high until well blended. Pour in the melted white chocolate and mix on medium high 1-2 minutes until blended in. Now, turn the speed to low and add the eggs one at a time, ensuring they are completely mixed in before you add the next egg. Finally, pour in the macadamia nuts and mix on low until distributed throughout the batter.
    Back to all that foil…

    Now, remove your crust from the fridge. Wrap the bottom and sides of the pan in a crockpot liner, tie this up, and then cover the bottom and sides with several layers of overlapping foil. This will prevent water from getting into your pan and soaking the crust. Foil alone is not enough–the crockpot liners are GOLD.

    Looks like a bad science experiment, I know.

    Now pour your cheesecake filling on top of your crust. Put your pan into a large roasting pan and fill this with about 4-6 cups of VERY HOT, STEAMY, BURN-Y water. The water bath prevents the cheesecake from cracking in the oven, so don’t skip this part since this cheesecake doesn’t get a ganache on top to cover up any mistakes. I’m not asking for a lot, just perfection…

    At this point, I still hold my breath and hope for the best.
    Place into the oven at 350 and cook for 55 minutes. Around this mark, see if the sides of your cheesecake have set but the middle is still wiggly like Jello (I usually gently poke the roasting pan to do this). If it is, fantastic, you’re almost done! If the sides are also still very wiggly, try cooking at additional 5-minute intervals. I clocked 1hr5min as the perfect time in my oven. Once sides are set, turn the oven off, crack the door a bit, and set a timer for another hour. Leave your cheesecake to finish making cheesecake magic as the oven cools down.
    Not. A. Single. Crack.
    After the hour, remove your cheesecake from the oven and roasting pan and onto a cooling rack. Run a very sharp knife around the edges of the pan to ensure the sides aren’t stuck to the pan. Then let this sit out for a bit until it’s at room temperature. At this point, cover with plastic wrap and place into the fridge to set for at least 4 hours if not overnight. I always bake a day ahead so the cheesecake can firm up in the fridge and removing the sides of the springform the next day don’t cause the cheesecake (or me) to fall apart.
    Smoooooth like buttah.

    When you’re ready, remove the sides of the springform pan. Since you lined the pan with Parchment, it’s super easy to take a large spatula or even your hand and remove the entire cheesecake from the base of the pan and place on your plate of choice.

    There always has to be a topping!

    Take that leftover crushed ounce of macadamia nuts and sprinkle around the edges of the cheesecake, gently pressing into the cake to stick. You could also add more unmelted white chocolate chips, or melt more white chocolate chips and drizzle on top before you place the nuts on. I went for a simple look:

    Mostly to save on calories. *Shrug*

    Since this was a birthday dessert, I knew I was going to add this cute topper I found on Amazon (I spend way too much time and money on Amazon):

    But so festive! Is it my cheesecake or my husband that is the star of his birthday? Both.

    I was so happy at not only the overall look, but THE FLAVOR. Sweet baby cheesecake Jesus, this is absolutely divine. The white chocolate + cream cheese come together in a way that is so silky and such an excellent mix of sweet and tangy meeting that it’s a wonder we don’t put white chocolate in all cheesecakes, and remember, this is coming from someone who loathes white chocolate. And those buttery macadamia nuts? They may be terrible for you calorie-wise, but this flavor adds so much to the cheesecake that the flavor is next level. As far as assembly and baking go, this was one of the easiest “fancy springform” cheesecakes I’ve ever made. It took me a couple hours on a Saturday, and we were enjoying the heck out of it the next day.

    Every forkful is bliss.

    Sadly, the cheesecake is all gone now and so is my husband. I am happy to report he absolutely adored this cheesecake (clean plate club all the way, which never happens with him). We had a nice early celebration, and since his birthday turns into what he calls “Derekpalooza,” I am sure the festivities will continue through July 4th (those fireworks are for him AND freedom). When he does return in a few days, I’m wondering if I should have another of these cheesecakes waiting. Or maybe make one again tomorrow so I only have to share like two slices? It could be for my very merry unbirthday celebration… ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

    I could eat this entire cheesecake by myself. No regrets.
  • Mini But Mighty!

    …this is also one of the fifty-seven potential names I have for my autobiography. It’s a pretty boring book altogether considering my full name should be Kate “Rules Are Made to Be Followed” Fox, but damned if I don’t throw caution to the wind when it comes to crazy dessert concoctions. I mean, I have been an insane cheesecake making machine these past two weeks…I’m turning into Kate Bakes Cheesecakes almost exclusively. I feel like I have to admit now that I believe cheesecakes are far superior to cakes. The irony is not lost on me, the Kate who Bakes Cakes, but as I age (shudder), they just seem to be a more delectable dessert than an overly-frosted, super sweet cake. Between last week’s dulce de leche swirl cheesecake with fudge brownie bottom, and this week’s ultimate PB & C mashup (that C stand for ‘chocolate’ for you normies that aren’t obsessed with dessert), I’m gonna convince you to come to the dark side. I promise there’s no PowerPoint presentation involved with this argument. Just really terrible, potato-quality cell phone photos:
    It's pretty much the best thing to happen to peanut butter since sliced bread, really.
    It’s pretty much the best thing to happen to peanut butter since sliced bread, really.
    Handheld, portable, crowd-pleasing, oh, and absolutely delicious, these small but mighty peanut butter cheesecakes are stuffed with a tiny Reese’s and held together by a single peanut butter Oreo crust. I brought these to work for my boss’s birthday, an avid PB&C lover, and took them to *another* birthday party for a friend who also happens to love the PB&C flavor combo. Surround yourself with friends like this; they’re good people, PB&C lovers…they almost always share dessert, unlike those snobby Crème Brûlée folk (all those accent marks, and they still won’t share). I have to admit, these little cheesecakes aren’t terrible for you! With a few small adjustments, these are only 204 calories per cup. And while you might think, “But they’re small. I wanna eat like 10 at a time,” (I won’t stop you), the richness of the cheesecake, peanut butter, and chocolate all coming together makes one serving absolutely satisfying to the ole’ sweet tooth; but don’t let that stop you from getting seconds (it didn’t stop anyone else).

    There’s a whole lotta Reese’s action here.
    These are EVEN EASIER to make than last week’s cheesecake; no water baths, no baking things one at a time, sorry, I sorta lied last week…for a full-fledged cheesecake, that really is a pretty simple recipe, but for mini cheesecakes, this is easy as pie…which is appropriate since pies are cheesecake-adjacent. This recipe makes 40 mini cheesecakes, so by all means, cut it in half for a more reasonable amount. I was feeding the masses and wanted a couple leftover to freeze for us. You’ll need:
    • A whole carton of Peanut butter Oreos (I also used Glutino’s gluten-free sandwich cookies to make 10 safe for me to eat)
    • 40 Reese’s Minis (get the kind that are already unwrapped; save a TON of time and annoyance)
    • 20 ounces of cream cheese at room temp (I was still stuck with the awful full-fat kind for this; use the 1/3 fat kind to reduce calories even more)
    • 2/3 C creamy peanut butter (I use JIF Natural PB)
    • 1 C Swerve granular
    • 1/2 C low fat sour cream (not pictured, sorry!) at room temp
    • 2 tsp vanilla extract
    • 4 eggs at room temp
    • 2/3 C sugar free chocolate chips, like Lily’s brand
    • 1/3 C Reese’s peanut butter chips
    It’s a good thing there’s extra Reese’s Minis leftover with this recipe. They’re as addictive as they are adorable.

    Start by preheating your oven to 350 and grabbing two muffin tins. Line each with cupcake papers, plop one Oreo into the bottom, and place a Reese’s Mini in the middle. Then beat your cream cheese for 3 minutes on medium-high (using a paddle, not a whisk) in a stand mixer until it’s nice and fluffy. Add in the peanut butter, mixing for another 2-3 minutes until things are fluffy again. Then add the sugar, blending well so the batter isn’t gritty (2-3 more minutes). Mix in the sour cream and vanilla until incorporated. Now, turn the mixer to low and add each egg, one a time, making sure the egg has completely mixed in before you add another.

    I have never been able to fill a muffin tin without it turning into a small overflow disaster.

    Using a large spoon or a 1/4 measuring cup, carefully drop batter on top of each Mini Reese’s. You want the cupcake liners pretty much all the way full. Things will expand a bit in the oven, but they will cool back down to normal size. Smooth out the batter with the back of a spoon. Bake for 17-18 minutes at 350 degrees; a toothpick should come out mostly clean when these are finished. Edges will be golden but not browned, and everything will be firm.

    It will also look like each cheesecake has an outie belly button thanks to the Reese’s in them.

    Let the cheesecakes cool in the muffin tin on top of cooling rack for at least 15 minutes. These are soft and hard to handle without crushing, so I recommend putting them, still in the tin, in the freezer for 15-20 minutes before removing from the pan to finish cooling completely on a cooling rack. You can also speed this part of the process up by putting them back in the freezer for 30 more minutes. You could call it a day here and eat up, but I require MORE PB & C. Gather up those chocolate and peanut butter chips!

    Things are about to get messy. In the best way, though.

    I poured my 2/3 cup of chocolate chips in a bowl and heated for 1 minute on 70% power in my microwave. I gave them a stir and added another 30 seconds on 70% power before they were nice and melty without getting scorched. I poured this into a piping bag (a large plastic baggy works, too). I put down Parchment paper, grabbed my cheesecakes from the freezer, and then snipped the tip of the piping bag off. I literally just drizzled back and forth several times across ALL cheesecakes (quick, extremely messy, but you get to eat dried chocolate when you’re cleaning up later).

    *Mmm, chocolaty drizzle.*

    Now, take the 1/3 cup of peanut butter chips, dump into a clean bowl, and heat for 1 minute at 70% power in the microwave. Since this is a smaller volume, 1 minute should be plenty to melt everything down. Put into a clean piping bag or baggy, snip the tip, and drizzle, drizzle like your life depends on it (your taste buds’ lives do, really).

    I mean…putting the yum in da-yum.

    Let these set for about 30 minutes until the chips all harden back up. I put my cheesecakes into a few 9×13 trays, all covered with lids, and kept in the fridge until ready to roll out and deliver unsuspecting birthday gals and guys with tiny little disks of PB&C happiness. I defy you to have a bad birthday when you can double fist handheld cheesecakes into your mouth with reckless abandon.

    It simply isn’t possible.

    Especially when the cheesecakes are this adorable.

    And truly filled with joy…aka, serotonin-releasing chocolate.
    These are quick and a total sinch to make, but they taste like something that takes ages to put together. However, unlike any other cheesecake in existence, these go from oven to eating in under 3 hours. And they will go quick. The peanut butter cheesecake itself is nice and airy but still full of flavor. It’s light enough that even by adding in a whole peanut butter Oreo AND a Reese’s Mini, it somehow still manages to be perfectly balanced and doesn’t come across as way too rich or overindulgent. I’m trying to ration my leftovers by keeping them in the freezer until I need to pop one in my mouth, but I’m failing miserably because they’re just too yummy. At this point, I realize it’s for the best that 30 of these went to live in other homes and bellies. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!
    I may never bake a regular cake again…
    Okay, that’s a total lie. Next blog is gonna be suuuuuper cakey.
  • Why Not Both?

    I love when you can pair two things together that are absolutely fantastic on their own to make one substantially amazing thing that brings you unbridled joy…you know, like adding bacon on top of Poutine, or Cinco de Mayo falling on a Taco Tuesday, or your favorite song coming on the radio AND you hit every green light on the way to your destination. Life can be good, but pairing a few key elements together can make it friggin’ magical. So the other day I wanted brownies, but then I also kinda wanted cheesecake. Instead of having an internal debate about dessert hierarchies, in a moment of sheer brilliance, I thought to myself, “Why not both?” This wonderful thought led to a beautiful, perfect-in-every-way dessert mashup: a dulce de leche cheesecake with a fudge brownie crust. The heavens parted, angels wept; there’s talk I may even win a Nobel Peace Prize because of this amalgamation of scientific baking excellence.
    It really is THAT good.
    It may not look like much, but I can say with certainty it is (cue Chris Traeger voice) *literally* the best cheesecake I have ever made and/or eaten. Fudgy brownies are one of my all-time favorite, O.G. desserts, but I have a weakness for cheesecake like most men have for blondes (in both instances there’s usually a lot of drooling). Is it low calorie? HA! Well, sort of. It’s 374 calories for one slice (12 slices total), which, all things considered, is way less than two bites of ANY cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory, so it’s got that going for it, too. And it is worth every single calorie. Amazingly decadent chocolate base? Check. Creamy cheesecake batter? Check. Sweet swirls of dulce de leche in each bite? That’s a Texas-sized 10-4. And in the realm of difficulty, this is probably one of the easiest cheesecakes I’ve ever made to boot. Well, what are you waiting for? Bust out the springform pan and get to baking!
    Oh yes, it’s even GLUTEN FREE.
    Gluten is evil and tries to kill me even when I just *think* about smelling a slice of bread. Thankfully, I am way late to the game with going gluten free (I was admitted to the club in December), so wonderful things like gluten free fudge brownie mixes exist already. I scooped this brand up at Publix, and it is now the only brownie mix I am ever using for the rest of my life. It is perfect in every way if you’re into a super chocolatey and moist fudge brownie (it even has recipe options for those that prefer them drier and cakier). All you need:
    • 1 box of King Arthur Flour gluten free fudge brownie mix
    • 2 eggs at room temp
    • 1/2 cup of low fat butter, melted and slightly cooled
    • 2 TBS water
    Preheat your oven to 350 and line an 8″ springform pan with Parchment paper and spray generously with cooking spray. In a medium bowl, dump the three wet ingredients and whisk together until mixed. Then add in the brownie mix and whisk until completely incorporated. Pour this into your prepared pan and tap on the counter to release bubbles:
    Of which there will be plenty, as you can see.

    Now, bake in the middle rack of your oven for 30-35 minutes. You don’t want the brownie completely cooked since it will go back into the oven for more cook time with the cheesecake batter. Underbake by about 5 minutes. I believe the box recommended 35-40 minutes, and in my oven, 35 left some good crumb action on my toothpick, so I removed it then. I placed on a cooling rack in the freezer while I made my cheesecake batter. Once cool enough, wrap the pan in a crockpot liner (trust me) and place a few layers of foil over this to keep the water bath from leaking in later. No one wants a soggy bottom.

    Simple, but effective.
    I absolutely HATE full fate cream cheese. In my first return trip to the commissary since March (base gates were closed, things were weird, thanks, COVID), guess what they didn’t have? Yep. Not a single brick of reduced-fat cream cheese. This is what I get for trying to save some money (I love you, Publix, but hot damn you’re expensive). I severely reduced the amount of cream cheese in my batter because of this, so here’s how it would’ve been made in a perfect world:
    • 16 ounces 1/3 fat cream cheese at room temp (I used 12 ounces of full fat, more on that later)
    • 1/3 cup of Swerve granular
    • 1/2 cup of light sour cream at room temp
    • 1 TBS vanilla extract
    • 1 tsp caramel extract (forgot to put in the recipe picture!)
    • A pinch of salt
    • 3 eggs at room temp
    • 1/2 cup of God’s Nectar (a.k.a., dulce de leche), set aside
    Dump the cream cheese into your stand mixer bowl and beat on medium-high until fluffy, about three minutes. Then add in the sugar, mixing on medium high until things are light and airy again, two or so minutes. Add the extracts, sour cream, and salt, mixing on medium high for 1-2 minutes until fully incorporated. Now, with the mixer on LOW, add in the eggs one at a time, making sure each egg is fully mixed in before you add another. Keep the speed at low so you don’t whip your eggs and cause extra air to get added into your cheesecake batter…this will make it crack as it bakes. Reserve 3/4 cup of cheesecake batter and pour the rest into your springform pan on top of the brownie crust.
    Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about the best part.

    Now, take that 1/2 cup of dulce de leche and place in a medium bowl. Add in 3/4 cup of your prepared cheesecake filling, and mix until magic happens:

    Caramel magic.

    So here’s where my skimping on the cream cheese became a problem…my dulce cheesecake batter was now way heavier than my regular cheesecake batter. So, when I took my dulce mix and dropped it by the spoonful into the regular batter….

    Before I realized my crucial error.

    I swirled the dulce cheesecake blobs around with a knife, but after a swirl or two, most of my dulce filling sunk below the surface of the lighter regular filling.

    Sigh. *THISCLOSE* to perfection…visually, anyway. I still maintain a better cheesecake you have never eaten.

    Sad but still very much aware the end result would be cheesecake (so not too sad), I took my cheesecake and put it into a large roasting pan. I filled this with very hot water to about halfway up the sides of the pan; a water bath will help keep cracks from forming. Bake for 50-55 minutes at 350. The center will still be very jiggly (like Jello) but the sides will be set. At this point, turn the oven off, crack the door, and leave the cheesecake to finish setting for 1 hour in the cooling oven.

    Some subtle, sexy swirl action going on.

    Once that hour has lapsed, remove the cheesecake from the roasting pan, ditch the foil and crockpot liner, and place on a cooling rack. Use a very sharp knife to run around the edges of the springform pan and release any of the cheesecake that will be sticking to the side of the pan. At this point, place into the fridge to set for at least 4 hours if not overnight (I ALWAYS go overnight, adding a layer of plastic wrap on top after about 4 hours in the fridge). A good rule of thumb is to make a cheesecake like 3 days before you actually want cheesecake, and then the timing is absolutely perfect.

    Of course, when it looks this amazing, the wait no longer matters one iota.

    When you’re ready to go to town, carefully remove the sides of the springform pan and transfer to a serving plate. I was itching to take photos, so my springform bottom is still in these shots.

    Doesn’t matter…still looks edible.

    So my swirls weren’t very pronounced, but it’s got a mesmerizing visual effect going on anyway:

    You’re getting hungry…

    Serving this cheesecake can be a bit of a beast since the fudge brownie and soft cheesecake filling don’t yield nice crisp, clean slices straight out of the fridge. If you’re looking to serve slices that could be featured on the cover of Good Housekeeping, throw your cheesecake in the freezer for 2 hours, then slice and serve. I did this in order to remove the springform pan bottom and Parchment paper without the cheesecake falling apart as well.

    Oh hey there, playing peekaboo, I see, dulce!

    So my swirls may have sunk into the cheesecake, but my swirls sunk into the cheesecake...this makes eating a slice like a magical treasure hunt where you get to strike gold with literally every forkful. I love a happy accident. The ratio is pretty much 50:50 brownie base to cheesecake, and to me, that’s just plain spellbinding. Every bite gives me a chocolate to creamy caramel ratio that is absolutely the greatest thing my taste buds have ever been privileged to experience. Add some melted dulce de leche on top of each slice to take things to what some might consider hedonistic, but what I call, “The best thing that will ever happen to you…especially during quarantine.”  I’m not kidding- I have never been more proud to have my inner fat kid come up with a dessert mashup like this. I plan on making this for every major holiday, social gathering, and Tuesday from now until I die of sugar shock. If you have leftovers (ha), be sure to keep them in the fridge. They won’t last long, though because this is a pairing that will bring you much needed bliss. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

    Happiness is a 10 pound brownie cheesecake combo.
  • Peach Dreams Are Made of This

    Day 967? of quarantine: days of the week no longer exist. I now understand why the dogs get so excited when a squirrel runs by the front window. I find myself wanting to wear cocktail attire to the grocery store because wearing yoga pants for weeks on end no longer brings me joy. The one thing that still gives me hope is making dessert. They make take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom cake!

    Petition to remake Braveheart but call it Cakeheart. It’s a film about one baker’s revolt against everyone hoarding baking supplies during quarantine because they’ve all been streaming too much Great British Bake Off.
    I apologize if you can’t buy flour anywhere because everyone thinks they’re gonna start baking during quarantine but won’t ever actually get around to it–lucky for you, this peach Bellini cake with watercolor Bellini cream cheese frosting and handmade candied bowl is made with box cake mix because I’m lazy, and because I prefer a low cal, sugar-free option for dessert. At only 212 calories a slice for 12 slices, this cake will ensure you can still fit into a real pair of jeans when the inevitable return to the real world commences. I think we all miss wearing real clothes at this point.
    If it takes longer than expected, at least you’ll have leftover booze.
    I actually made this recipe as muffins about a year ago, and I really wanted to try pairing it with cream cheese frosting to take it to the next level. Lucky for you, I’ve got nothing but time to experiment in the kitchen these days. Happy to report the cake and icing are incredibly simple to make. All you need are items that can actually be found on grocery store shelves these days:
    • Sugar free vanilla or yellow cake mix
    • 3 egg whites
    • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
    • 1 cup of sweet champagne (go for sweet and not brut or dry since this is dessert)
    • 1/3 cup of Peach Schnapps (you have some hiding in a cabinet leftover from college, probably)
    • 1 cup of frozen peaches, thawed and diced (or 1 real peach, diced) 
    • Optional: peach gel dye for coloring

    Start by preheating the oven to 325 degrees and greasing two 8-inch square pans. Mix everything but the peaches together in a stand mixer on medium for 2 minutes. Champagne will make things bubbly, so don’t go too high on the mixer speed or you’ll end up wearing some of your batter (lesson learned the hard way). Fold in the peaches and a couple drops of peach gel dye if using. Pour into prepared pans and bake for 28-30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out of each cake completely clean.

    Just call me Princess Peach.

     Let youR cakes cool in the pan for about 10 minutes on top of a cooling rack. Then turn out onto the racks to cool completely before frosting.

    Looks peachy keen, alright. Ok, I’m done with peach puns. For now.

    Level your cakes before frosting. I have two 8-inch pans from different companies. Both cakes were completely different sizes…8 inches to Wilton means something completely different to Farberwear, apparently. I had to trim the edges of my larger cake, but this was also a small blessing because it meant I got to eat cake scraps!

    Which paired excellently with the leftover champagne.

    I wanted a cream cheese frosting that would crust like a buttercream in order to pull off the watercolor design I had imagined in my head…it might be a scary place up there, but it’s at least visually appealing. To do so, I had to add Crisco/shortening to my usual cream cheese recipe. If you hate the taste of shortening, you can omit this and replace with butter. To me, it does give the frosting less of a creamy taste than you’d expect with a cream cheese base, but it’s still most definitely edible. You need:

    • 1 stick reduced fat unsalted butter at room temp
    • 8 ounces of 1/3 less fat cream cheese at room temp
    • 1/4 cup of shortening at room temp
    • 1 lb./1 bag of Lakanto powdered monkfruit sweetener
    • 1-2 tsp champagne (to taste)
    • 1 tsp Schnapps
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • Optional: gel dyes in coral, orange, and pink, plus these absolutely fabulous sprinkles

    Cream together the butter, cream cheese, and shortening for 2-3 minutes until fluffy. Add in the bag of sweetener, champagne, Schnapps, and vanilla. Blend on low until incorporated, then switch to medium-high for 4 minutes, until the frosting is extremely fluffy, or as we refer to it, has added the “Quarantine 15” to its volume.

    Now, take three small bowls and add a large dollop of frosting to each.

     I ended up having a LOT of leftover frosting, so don’t worry about running out for two 8-inch cakes. I dyed one bowl with a drop of coral + pink (in the middle above), another bowl just pink (on the right), and another bowl a drop of orange + coral (on the left). I then put all my frosting into the fridge to crust up for about 15 minutes so it wouldn’t be so thinned out and liquid-y that it just slid right off the cake. This also helps in order to keep the darker colors from just bleeding into everything and taking over when it’s watercolored together.

    Sorry for the blinding whiteness. This is usually something I have to say when wearing shorts, but it still is the case here, too.

    I loaded up a large piping bag with a large round tip and placed a smattering of frosting on my first layer, smoothed it out, added my second layer, and then used my piping bag to run around the sides of the cake.

    Seriously, squint or shade your eyes. I promise there’s a cake in this picture.

     I used an angled spatula and a bench scraper to smooth. You don’t need to make things perfect yet if you’re doing the watercolor painting.

    Finally, a break for those poor eyes.

     Now take a dab of each color and layer it on the cake in a random pattern. I did this staggering in vertical columns on the sides of the cake, and then just haphazardly on the top. Take your bench scraper or angled spatula and run along the sides and top of the cake, allowing the coloring to blend together with each pass. You can do one or two passes to keep the coloring still somewhat separate and more of stark contrast. I wanted to pass over about 4-5 times to really blend things together and make it look more like a nice glass full of peach Bellini in cake form. Practicing what I peach, if you will.

    If you see any areas where you want different contrast, come back in and add more color before giving a few swipes to smooth.
    I love how well these colors played together. I kind of want a Creamsicle dipped into a Bellini now.
    You can now put the cake in the fridge to crust up for about 15 minutes, then come back in with a Viva paper towel to smooth out any rough edges. I have a horrible time trying to make the corners on square and rectangle cakes look nice, so this paper towel trick is an absolute must to make my cakes look nice. After smoothing out a bit, the frosting had become malleable again, so I placed it on a large baking sheet and then pressed handfuls of sprinkles into the sides of the cake for a border:

    Nothing is ever finished without sprinkles.
    I mean, especially sprinkles that are so complimentary in color!
     Now, put your cake in the fridge and get ready to make magic! I have made these bowls twice now–I had way better luck the first time, you know, the one where I didn’t blog about it…so I will tell you the only two things I did differently this time that, in my opinion, made my bowl end up looking like a giant hot mess. 
    Finding balloons that weren’t water balloons was honestly the most difficult part of the entire process.

     This isn’t a tricky creation, really, it’s just very messy and you have to work FAST. I recommend making sure you have EVERYTHING ready to go before you even think about heating up your syrup. You need:

    • 2 balloons (NOT water balloons)
    • 1/3 c water
    • 1 1/3 cup sugar
    • 1/2 cup corn syrup
    • Gel dye if coloring and a toothpick to swirl in the color
    • A large baking tray lined with foil
    • Two ramekins or small bowls to hold your balloons set on top of the foil-lined tray
    • Olive oil to grease the balloons and bowls
    • Candy thermometer 

    Fill your balloons up with water…I wanted LARGE bowls, so I filled the ballons with a lot of water this time. This was my first mistake. You want the balloon to still have some give so when it expands due to heat, it doesn’t pop…I lost one balloon this way. Fill them to the point where they are firm but still have a lot of give when squeezed. Now, make sure all the air has been let out of the balloon by allowing a little bit of water to pour out before you tie and secure the end of the balloon.

    You will need to grease the bowls that will hold the balloons before you put the water-filled balloons into them. My second mistake was using vegetable oil. It refused to let the candy mix stick to the top of the balloon the way it needed to, so the base of the bowl was incredibly flimsy. The first time, I used olive oil and it was perfectly strong. You really want to grease the sides and bottom of the bowls you’re using so the candy mix doesn’t cement to it. I really recommend using a ceramic bowl to also help with this–my bowls weren’t ceramic and I had to chip away to get the candy to detach.

    Once greased, place the balloons in the bowl and give them a thin coating of oil as well:

    It’s gonna look like some weird balloon fetish thing at this point, but just work with me here.

     Now, dump your sugar, water, and corn syrup into a medium sauce pan. Working at medium-high temperature, whisk together your ingredients then let it heat up to 305 degrees. This part takes 12 minutes, but you don’t need to stir continually. I had a timer going so that I whisked the mix every two minutes. Keep a very close eye on your temperature the last two minutes…it can go from 250 degrees to 305 VERY fast, and you don’t want to burn the mixture. Once it hits 305, remove from heat and stir in the gel dye with a toothpick. I swirled so it wasn’t totally mixed into a solid color but instead had streaks of peach.

    The candy thermometer is the MVP here.

     Pour the mix right away on the top of each balloon. If you’ve remembered to let any air out and didn’t fill the balloon too much, they will not pop.

    Streaks of color!

     Let these set up for at least 30 minutes. Then very carefully pry the balloon out of the bowl. Like I said, I had to chip away at the candy hardened onto my bowls to get the balloon out. If you use a ceramic bowl that’s oiled, you probably won’t have this problem. You will want an extra set of hands (wearing gloves or holding wax paper so there’s no moisture) to gently cradle the balloon while you very carefully pull the tied end of the balloon tight and snip with scissors to create a small slit for the water to slowly drain out of…hold the balloon at an angle so the candy doesn’t get wet. If it gets wet, it will get tacky and start to break apart.

    So. Demanding.

     The dismantling of the balloon is not easy, and it is a tension-filled minute while the water drains. But the end result is a pretty nifty looking bowl for you to put on top of your cake and add more peaches and sprinkles to. You could eat it if you wanted to, but I imagine it just takes like pure sugar and nothing else, so that’s a hard no from me. You can see my edges are pretty jagged from having to chip away to remove the bowl from the balloon, so I am definitely trying this again with ceramic to see if that achieves a cleaner look. It’s still pretty awesome with the swirled peach dye in there. As for clean up, let your kitchen sink run hotter than the surface of the sun as experienced from Florida, and place all your tools into the saucepan you used to make the candy syrup. For 5-7 minutes, run water in the saucepan, and under all that heat, the tacky candy will pretty much just melt right off. Small miracles.

    And every cake needs a topper, right?
    It takes it from a pretty cute cake to a pretty awesome cake…you might say, it’ll leave people s-peach-less when they see it. What? You want a peach of me? I’ll make terrible peach puns all day, people.
     I mean, eventually you have to remove the bowl to slice the cake, but as far as presentation goes, this candy bowl idea is a showstopper. And now you have a cake to eat that tastes exactly like a peach Bellini. You can even drink a peach Bellini while you’re eating a slice to have, what I assume, would be a transcendental moment. The cake itself has a really smooth flavor and those tidbits of peach are absolutely amazing. The cream cheese frosting isn’t too tangy with the incorporation of the Crisco, but the sweet champagne flavor lingers after each bite. It’s pretty much the perfect cake for spring quarantining because, mentally, it takes you to a place where you forget that you’ve been trapped inside your home for over a month with no end in sight. And to me, that’s absolutely magical…I’ve got 99 problems but a peach ain’t one. Okay, I am finally done with terrible peach puns. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!
    Don’t mind staying at home if I get to eat cake!
  • A Dose of Good Luck

    Let me interrupt your social media feed to remind everyone that good still exists in this world..and it’s in the form of cake. This mint chocolate chip cake with Baileys mint buttercream frosting and handmade solid chocolate shamrock may not solve a crisis, but it is an excellent way to take your mind off the outside world. Considering we’re all supposed to be social distancing and self quarantining, you can make this cake and not even have to share a single slice. Leprechauns don’t share their gold, and you don’t have to share your cake–true St. Patrick’s Day spirit!

    It may not be as pretty as a fully-stocked toilet paper aisle in these trying times, but it is super festive, so this cake has that going for it.

    I adore St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, but they’ve all pretty much been canceled this year, so let’s meet up again in April and drink green beer and eat Irish food for Saint Paddy’s Day Part Two: Greener and Cleaner. I realize COVID-19 isn’t something to take lightly, but as a seasonal allergy sufferer, I am tired of people looking at me like I’m Typhoid Mary every time I sneeze…thanks, pollen. I’m indoors today and marveling over how delicious this cake is…stuffed with Andes mint chips, complimented by Baileys and mint extract, this is like the chocolate version of a Shamrock Shake, but even better because you don’t have to find a McDonald’s with a functioning ice cream machine to get it (plus, booze). And at only 323 calories a slice for 10 slices or 269 calories a slice for 12 slices, it’s even healthier than a Shamrock Shake…Baileys included. And I feel like in times of panic, everything needs a Baileys chaser.

    Plus so simple to make!

    Since most grocery aisles are bare, I hope you have a lot of this stuff on hand already. As someone who drinks lactose-free milk, doesn’t eat gluten, and bakes sugar-free, I’ve gotta say all these weird digestive issues that force me to eat this way have helped ensure what I need is always in stock at Publix. Mostly because no one else wants to touch it, so there’s that. To make this cake, you need:

    • 1 box Devil’s Food cake mix (I used sugar free–it’s amazing)
    • 3 egg whites (could attempt with flax eggs to make vegan)
    • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
    • 1 1/4 cups skim milk (can use dairy free or vegan varieties)
    • 1 1/2 tsp mint extract (not peppermint)
    • 1/2 cup Andes baking chips or chopped mint chocolate baking bar

    Preheat your oven to 350, grease three six-inch round baking pans and use bake even strips to finish pan prep. Dump all ingredients except for the mint chips into a stand mixer and blend on medium-high for 2 minutes. Add the mint chips and mix on low until totally folded in.

    Bake even strips are a godsend.

     Pour batter evenly into prepared pans and bake for 25-30 minutes. Since there’s chocolate chips in the cake, it’s harder to get a good read with a toothpick on doneness. The cake shouldn’t be jiggly at all when it is done cooking, and the top should spring back quickly when gently pressed. Place cakes, still in the pan, on cooling racks for 10 minutes.

    Dotted with chocolate mint chip goodness.

    After 10 minutes, remove from the pan and let cakes cool completely. I give it a good thirty minutes, then I level my cakes. With the stripe technique I used here, you want cakes that are uniform and completely level. Plus, this way you get to eat the cake scraps, and they are delish. While the cakes cool, you can make your frosting and the chocolate shamrock.

    And maybe drink some Baileys.

    The frosting needs to be thick and firm for this stripe technique, so I had to make a regular American buttercream instead of the nice, light, whipped buttercream I’ve been fan-girling over. You need:

    • 1 cup of butter at room temp (I used 1/2 cup regular and 1/2 cup 50% reduced fat butter from Land O’ Lakes because it was the only thing left at my commissary…hoarders..)
    • 4 cups of Lakanto powdered monkfruit sweetener or Swerve confectioners (Lakanto doesn’t have the weird cooling effect Swerve does, so this is my new secret weapon in sugar-free frosting)
    • 1 tsp clear vanilla extract
    • 1 tsp mint extract
    • 4 TBS Baileys
    • If frosting is too thick and you want it to be whiter for stripes, use a TBS of skim milk or so; otherwise, if coloring isn’t an issue, use more Baileys until it’s smooth enough to frost

    Whip the butter until fluffy, then add in half the sweetener and the two extracts. Blend on low until well mixed, then add in the remaining sweetener and the Baileys. Add more milk or Baileys as needed until you get the consistency you’re looking for. I needed something sturdy but spreadable, so I did end up adding 1 TBS milk in at the end.

    Like a Baileys-filled Oreo dream.

    Assemble your cakes, taking time to make sure everything lines up just right so your edges aren’t overhanging anywhere and everything is level. Stripes will show any weirdness, so I took longer than usual to place a layer upside down, slather a thin layer of frosting, place another layer upside down and take time to center, etc. until I finished with a thick layer of frosting on the top final layer.

    Crumb coat-shrum coat.

     I’ve not crumb coated a cake in eons, which is terrible, but I didn’t have much issue with chocolate crumbs here, so I forged on. You want a layer of frosting as thick as the teeth on the cake comb you use to make the stripes, so this has a LOT of frosting on it, which did help cover crumbs. You don’t need to worry about smoothing the sides out too much since the cake comb will do this for you.

    Speaking of combs, I found this Wilton cake comb on Amazon. It came in a pack of 3 different combs with 6 sides total, so this is how I do cakes from now until I’ve tried every combination. I used the right side of the comb for this cake.
    Swipe, swipe, and swipe again. Like Tinder, but for cakes.

    Make sure you have your cake on a turntable and slowly glide the comb around the cake until you get deep grooves. I passed over my cake about 3-4 times before I ended up with the above result. It doesn’t need to look pretty or smooth yet since you’ll take care of that when you add the second color. But once you have your cake completely frosted, set it in the fridge for 30 minutes to firm up the frosting and prevent color bleeding from the green lines. I put mine in the freezer and took a nap, and that was WAY too long…everything was frozen and nothing would smooth out, so once it thawed enough to smooth, I had some color bleeds because of it. I’d say no longer than 15 minutes in the freezer. Now is a great time to make that solid chocolate shamrock…

    All green, all the time.

     Dye your remaining frosting green with a Kelly green gel dye and set aside. You’ll need green chocolate melts, a shamrock cookie cutter, green sprinkles, and a really good bench scraper or cake scraper to finish this entire cake. I melted a few tablespoons of green chocolate melts according to package directions in a small bowl. I added a little bit of oil to thin it out, and then I put a layer of wax paper down, placed my shamrock cookie cutter on top, and poured the chocolate inside of the cookie cutter. I used a spoon to even things out, then I carefully transferred to the fridge to set for 30 minutes. I used a sharp knife to cut around the edges of the cookie cutter, but I did have a crack form right down the middle of the whole thing (naturally). I used a lighter to melt the crack and swiped it with an angled spatula to smooth out the broken piece, and it was good as new.

    Mmm, melty chocolate.
    It is a BRICK of chocolate, and I LOVE it.

    Now, grab that cake and the green frosting. There are two ways to do this: smother the entire outside of the cake with green frosting and swipe off until you have clean lines, or the beginner’s way. I chose the beginners way since I had never done this before. I put my green frosting into a piping bag fitted with a small basket weaving tip. I then piped the green frosting into the indentations left by the cake comb:

    It gets prettier, I promise.

    Then I took one swipe around the entire cake with my bench scraper. It left me with this:

    Do not freak out and panic. Save that for the Corona Virus.

    The more passes you take around the cake, the more even the coloring will get. I probably went around my cake 7 or 8 times, scraping once, removing excess frosting from my bench scraper, and then scraping again. You will have a ton of leftover frosting because of this, but save some for cake borders or topping decorations. This is after the final pass:

    A little wonky, but still much, much better.

    I was pretty pleased with how this turned out for a first attempt. If I hadn’t over-frozen the cake, I wouldn’t have had such issues with bleeds or uneven lines in a few places. But overall, you can tell there is a clear delineation and a pretty snazzy green and white stripe pattern. Kind makes me want an after dinner mint. The green kind are superior to the red ones anyway.

    It’s not finished if there aren’t sprinkles.

     To finish, I placed my shamrock on center stage and then switched to a #21 open star piping tip to pipe little green swirls around the top of my cake. I dusted in between each swirl with green glitter flecks. I am so happy with how seasonal and celebratory this cake looks. It’s a different kind of March Madness out there these days, so it was good to put the massive amount of worry and stress that working in the tourism industry during a virus outbreak is making me feel right now and focus on something completely within my control. There was Love in the Time of Cholera, and now there’s Cake in the Age of Corona Virus. And with a cake like this, I truly believe there’s still good in the world. A testament to the delicious powers chocolate + mint chips + Baileys possess. This isn’t a very dense cake, but it is solid, and every forkful has a burst of mint chip that works with Baileys in a way that should probably be illegal. At least I don’t have to feel badly for refusing to share with any of you right now, but I’m telling ya, make this cake, and you’ll still have a reason to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. If Saint Patrick could rid Ireland of snakes, you can survive the craziness out there, too. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

    A little extra luck never did hurt, after all.
  • Berries as Black as My Heart

    I realize that most normal people celebrate Valentine’s Day, but I have never been on board. I’m a “Day-After Valentine’s Day Chocolate Sales” celebrator. So don’t take what looks like a romantic, berry-laden cake as a sign I’m jumping on the Valentine’s Day bandwagon. After all, I made this cake with berries that are as black as my heart.

    No matter how romantic it looks, I swear the timing was purely coincidental.

    So, this is actually the third time I tried making this blackberry cake with whipped mascarpone frosting and chocolate bowl topper. I’ve gone gluten free, so I was trying to make this fit my diet. Gluten-Free Attempt #1 wouldn’t fully bake in the middle no matter how long it was in the oven. Gluten-Free Attempt #2 baked but tasted like it was made solely of chalk. Attempt #3 said, “You know what, the digestive distress is worth it for cake,” and not a single attempt at removing gluten was made. Every single bite is absolutely amazing. It’s got a sweet, slightly tart flavor thanks to a combination of fresh blackberry puree and blackberry preserves, and it is an incredibly light cake. As someone who had never really had mascarpone cheese before (tiramisu is an insult to all desserts), I can say with certainty I’ve pinned at least 50 new recipes. Why did no one tell me how amazing this stuff is? I just want to live in a tub of it. It’s also not as calorie heavy as you’d think, and because of that, you can eat a slice of this cake for only 275 calories (10 slices total). No box of Valentine’s Day chocolates can say the same thing.

    Don’t worry, there is chocolate involved though. Just later.

    The hardest part of making and decorating this entire cake is making the blackberry puree, so it’s *literally* a piece of cake to create. You only need:

    • 1 box of Pillsbury sugar free yellow cake mix
    • 3 eggs
    • 1/3 cup of unsweetened applesauce
    • 1 cup of skim milk
    • 4 ounces of fresh blackberries, pureed and sieved
    • 2 ounces of blackberry preserves
    • Optional: purple gel dye

    Start by preheating your oven to 325. Using a blender or a food processor, puree the blackberries until liquid. Strain the puree over a bowl with a mesh sieve and discard the seeds. Add the blackberry puree and all the other ingredients into a stand mixer bowl. Blend on low for a few seconds then switch over to medium-high for 2 minutes. I added a few drops of purple gel dye since I wanted to make this a naked cake with a vibrant hue, but without the dye, it’s a nice lavender shade.

    Prepare 3 six-inch round baking pans with cooking spray and bake even strips. Bake in the oven for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out of the cake completely clean. Set on cooling racks while still in the pans for 10 minutes before turning out on the cooling racks. Level your cakes with a leveler while they’re still somewhat warm, but don’t frost until they are completely cool to the touch. I throw my cakes in the freezer for a half hour to speed this up.

    Mascarpone, you complete me.

     I adapted my whipped cream cheese frosting from last month to try out mascarpone, and I am absolutely thrilled, perhaps for the first time ever, that I branched outside of my comfort zone. It’s sinchy recipe, and you only need:

    • 4 ounces mascarpone cheese at room temp
    • 1/2 cup of Lankato sugar free powdered monkfruit sweetener (or Swerve confectioners)
    • 1 tsp of vanilla 
    • 1 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy whipping cream COLD
    • Extra blackberries for layering and adding to the chocolate bowl (I used 8 ounces)

    Whip the mascarpone for a minute or two in your stand mixer before adding the vanilla and the powdered sweetener. I switched over to the Lankato because it doesn’t have as much of a cooling effect aftertaste that Swerve does. I got it from Amazon, and I highly recommend it for sugar-free frostings. With the mixer on low, take the cold heavy whipping cream and add very slowly to the bowl. Once it is completely added and mixed in, switch to a whisk attachment and beat on high for 2-3 minutes, until stiff peaks form. Stop mixing the second those peaks form so the frosting doesn’t deflate. Place your bowl of frosting into the fridge until the moment you’re ready to frost.

    Purple is just the best color.

     I wanted a fun, cute chocolate topper for this cake. I tried a few variations with balloons that failed spectacularly, so I ended up covering a small bowl with wax paper, melting a third of a bag of lavender chocolate melts, and placed them into a piping bag.

    As an added bonus, you can squeeze any leftover chocolate straight into your mouth from the piping bag!

     Then I just swirled squiggles and lines all over the wax paper to make a whimsical bowl:

    Or something like that.
    I’m not 100% thrilled with the result since I had something completely different pictured in my head, but it worked for it’s given purpose: to hold fruit and chocolate. I placed this in the freezer to harden while I assembled my cakes.
    Publix has literally the best blackberries.

     Take a cake layer, flop it upside down on a cake board, and then slather a decent helping of the whipped mascarpone frosting on top. Add a large handful of berries to this. Go heavy on the berries–since this is a whipped frosting, it doesn’t provide much structure between layers. The berries help support each cake layer. Repeat for the second layer, and finish the top layer with a thick layer of frosting on top. I used about 3/4 of my frosting. If you don’t want a naked cake, there’s definitely enough frosting to completely cover the cake. But I’m using my leftover frosting each morning at breakfast with berries or in yogurt because it’s flippin’ fantastic.

    Not enough purple!

     So this is what it looks like before scraping a bunch of frosting off. I love the blackberries poking out, and I wish I had put more closer to the edges to peak out and add a little more purple color to the cake. I took a large angled spatula and swiped off a bunch of excess frosting until you could clearly see all three purple layers:

    Because it’s the best color–and it’s not a Valentine’s Day color, so there’s that.

     Now, take that chocolate bowl out of the freezer and carefully remove the bowl from the middle. Then very gingerly remove the wax paper from the chocolate. You’ll be left with a device to hold more chocolate, and that’s about as romantic as it gets in my book.

    Hey there, good lookin.

     Now, add more blackberries, white chocolate chips, fancy chocolates, strawberries, whatever you want to this cute little bowl.

    Think of it like sprinkles, but better, because…chocolate.

     You don’t want to make it too heavy since that whipped frosting doesn’t hold up very strongly. I recommend placing some wooden dowels in the cake to help support the weight of the bowl, or remove it until you’re ready to put the cake out for the “ooh and ahh” moment before serving immediately.

    It really is a showstopper.
     I am so glad the third time was the charm with this cake. It is everything I was hoping it would be in the flavor department. I feel like blackberries always get pushed aside for blueberries or strawberries, but to me, they’re the best berry. Not too sweet, not too tart, just right–the Goldilocks of berries, really. This cake gives them an excellent opportunity to shine, and it’s so delish that just thinking about it makes me happy. That light sweetness from the mascarpone whipped frosting is the perfect addition to this cake, and yeah, it definitely looks like something you’d want to serve for a romantic date night, I’ll give it that. But since this is the kind of yummy cake you’d want to eat multiple fist or shovelfuls at a time, it kind of ruins that moment, so eater beware…you also won’t feel much like sharing a slice after you’ve had a bite either, so things could go from blissful romance to Thunderdome really fast. I pray you come out victorious, because this cake is definitely worth it. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!
    The truest love known to man…a really great cake.
  • Because It's a Feelings-Eating Weekend

    It’s been *a week*… between having to leave the chilly, gorgeous Smoky Mountains of Tennessee to come back to flat, sweaty Florida, to then get home and caught up in the tail end of a police standoff during a dog walk, to then find out my husband’s deployment was slightly extended, to finally watching the Vikings go down in flames yesterday, this was a week made for feelings-eating (did I also mention I turned another year older? C’mon!!). I was looking for one sliver of hope, and it came in the form of a cupcake. A cranberry-filled vanilla cupcake with whipped cream cheese frosting. Because it’s still winter everywhere else, just not here where it’s 75 degrees.

    Finally, a winter scene in Florida.

    I had a lot of feelings to eat, so these had to be low in calories and sugar. At only 200 calories a cupcake, I can be seen with a cupcake in each hand quite frequently! The cranberry filling is so nice and tart, the vanilla cupcakes are a wonderfully sweet offset to this, and I would be willing to fight a bear to get more of that whipped cream cheese frosting. I stumbled upon this frosting recipe on a Keto website, and since I’m pretty much sugar-free as can be (but you’ll have to take carbs out my cold dead hands), I decided it was worth a shot. I know we’re only 12 days into the new year, but this frosting recipe is probably my greatest discovery of 2020. It is so airy and light since it is whipped, but still tangy thanks to the cream cheese and has a nice finish with a hint of sweetness thanks to Swerve. I am going to try it with various extracts and cocoas, and well, boozes, because, why not? It’s the 2020’s, not the 1920’s, so prohibition need not apply.

    Easy ingredients to boot!

    I knew it was just me, and me with a full two-dozen cupcakes is a recipe for disaster, so I made only 12 cupcakes for this recipe. If you want a full 24 cupcakes, simply double the ingredients. To make a dozen, you need:

    • 1/2 box of white/vanilla cake mix
    • 2 egg whites
    • 1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce
    • 1/2 cup + 2 TBS skim milk

    Preheat your oven to 350 and line a muffin tin with cupcake liners. Mix all ingredients on low for 30 seconds, then turn to medium-high for 2 minutes. Use a cookie scoop to put 1.5 scoops of batter into each cupcake liner. Bake at 350 for 18 minutes. Let cupcakes cool in the pan on a cooling rack for 10 minutes before removing from the pan to finish cooling completely.

    Soooo pretty…found those red foil liners on Amazon, so I now have a lifetime supply of 500 liners.
    The things I had to do to find cranberries after December.
    So, in hindsight, I SHOULD have made these in November when you can’t even walk into any grocery store without getting hit in the face by a ton of cranberries. I had to go to several stores before I found cranberries, albeit frozen ones, to make this recipe possible. WORTH IT. The filling is insanely good. To make, get:
    • 1/4 cup Swerve granular (if you want a sweeter and less tart filling, add a tablespoon or two more)
    • 1/4 cup water
    • 1 cup of frozen cranberries
    • 1/2 tsp vanilla
    • 1 tsp corn starch
    • 1 tsp water

    Dump the 1/4 cup of water, Swerve, vanilla, and cranberries into a small pan on medium-high heat. Stir everything together frequently and bring to a low boil. Cook for 3 minutes until the cranberries start to get mushy as you stir. Then in a small bowl, mix the final teaspoon of water and cornstarch together before pouring into the cranberry mix. Stir until everything thickens, another minute or so. Take this off heat and let cool fully before using.

    Heavy whipping cream is the MVP of this recipe.

     While cupcakes and cranberry filling finish cooling, make your frosting. You need:

    • 4 oz reduced fat cream cheese, softened
    • 1/2 cup of Swerve confectioners
    • 1 tsp vanilla
    • 1 1/4 cup + 2 TBS heavy whipping cream, COLD

    With a paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese until fluffy, 2-3 minutes. Then add in the sugar and extract, blending well. Scrape the bowl and change to a whisk attachment. With the blender on low, VERY slowly pour in the COLD heavy whipping cream. Once all the cream is incorporated, turn the mixer to high and whip the frosting for 2-3 minutes until stiff peaks form. Once stiff peaks form STOP mixing so you don’t deflate the frosting. If you wanted to add color, fold it in by hand. Keep this frosting cold until you’re ready to pipe. If you’re worried about things being cold enough for the heavy whipping cream to work, chill your mixing bowl in the freezer before you get started on the frosting.

    Now, back to those beautiful blonde cupcakes.

     When totally cooled, take a large piping tip (I used a 2D), and gently wiggle it into the top of each cupcake until the tip is about half into the cake, then gently take the piping tip out of the cupcake.

    I hate destroying something so pretty. But it’s for a good, tasty cause!

     Remove the cupcake filling from the center of the piping tip and wipe any crumbs from the tip’s base. Save a bit of the cupcake filling (eat the rest, obviously).

    Mmm, jelly-filled like a donut.

     Take a heaping teaspoon of the cooled cranberry filling and place into the hole. You will have a little filling leftover, and I can tell you it goes excellently on an English muffin at breakfast (I can’t live life without carbs, sorry, Keto people. Carbs are joy.).

    And necessary to complete our baking!

    Take a tiny bit of leftover cupcake scrap and place on top of the filling to keep things anchored in and to keep any bleeds in the frosting layer. Repeat for all remaining cupcakes, then grab a bowl, some sanding or granular sugar, and a handful of frozen cranberries. I put 36 frozen cranberries on a paper towel while I piped all my frosting. By the time I was finished piping, they had thawed out a bit, leaving water and some of their juices on the outside of the berries.

    So I dumped these wet cranberries into a bowl with sanding sugar.
    And I rolled them around like crazy until coated.
     Now, let me backtrack a moment for the piping instructions!
    Swirly!

     I used a large French tip, the Ateco #869, to make these pretty swirls. I loaded up a piping bag with HALF the cold whipped cream cheese frosting, keeping the other half in the fridge while I worked. I simply started in the middle of the cupcake and piped clockwise down and around (as a lefty, I do everything backwards…righties might find up and around counterclockwise easier).

    Then I gently put a few cranberries on top.

     I had a ton of cranberries though, so I decided to use the rule of three here, and I think these turned out absolutely darling:

    So, so wintery. Sigh.

     While we were going through a short monsoon season yesterday that left me with VERY large hair (thanks, 90% humidity), I at least had these cupcakes to give me the winter vibes I so desperately desire.

    Inside AND out.

    The filling takes these to the next level. And while, yes, they are more appropriate for a Thanksgiving or Christmas dessert, I am a grown woman, and I bake what I want when I want. Sort of. If I REALLY baked whatever I want whenever I wanted, you’d be getting a spooky Halloween dessert 12 months out of the year. So at least these are seasonally appropriate? And they’re so delicious, I almost forget about the intense level of sadness I feel today as a Minnesota Vikings fan. Excellent job covering the depression, cupcakes! I think it’s the whipped cream cheese frosting. It is so incredibly delicious that it gives me reason to believe in miracles, like making it to a Super Bowl once in my lifetime. As Marge Simpson once said, “My greatest sin is that I dare to hope,” and I feel that in my Vikings-loving soul.

    The best therapy sessions should always end in cupcakes.
  • Happy Little Trees

    Due to the Black Friday sales gods, my husband was able to gift me a gorgeous matte purple KitchenAid mixer without selling any organs. I was beyond thrilled to test it out this weekend (I logged about 12 hours on the mixer alone yesterday for holiday baking). How was it compared to my old Walmart mixer, you may or may not have asked? Let me explain it to you like this: it’s like that moment when you go to the optometrist and put on glasses for the first time and have that, “Wait, so THIS is what sight is supposed to be like?” moment. Clarity mixed with magic. I didn’t realize it wasn’t supposed to sound like a freight train was coming through my house when the mixer was on, or that I shouldn’t have to hand mix a bit after I turn off the mixer. I’m so happy I could cry. Now, if only I could get into the holiday spirit. Tis the season to be sweaty down here in Florida. I put up Christmas lights last week in shorts and a tank top and still came in drenched in sweat. I felt more like a margarita than an eggnog for sure. I was feeling extra Grinchy since I have jury duty tomorrow, so I thought about scrapping baking altogether, but like any adult around the holidays, I forced myself to pretend to enjoy Christmas until I actually did…all thanks to this classic hand-painted Christmas tree snowscape cake.

    Well now that’s just adorable.

    This cute little cake that in no way represents winter in Florida is a vanilla peppermint cake with peppermint buttercream. It tastes like a candy cane, and it’s absolutely perfect. I haven’t done too much baking since D deployed, and if you’re wondering whether one grown woman can eat an entire cake by herself, I can assure you with no one around to judge me, I eat breakfast cake regularly. Needless to say, this had to be a low-cal bake since I take a slice out of it pretty much every time I walk by the fridge. This recipe will only set you back 289 calories for 12 slices.

    Oh hey, super sexy KitchenAid mixer. I see you.

    It’s a truly simple recipe, and the cakes themselves can be made and frosted in like three hours tops including bake time, even with the hand-painted treescape. To make, you need:

    • White cake mix
    • 4 egg whites (I am missing an egg in the photo)
    • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
    • 1 cup of skim milk
    • 1/4 cup of water (or you can use more milk)
    • 1 tsp of peppermint extract (trust me, a little goes a long way)

    Preheat the oven to 350 and prepare three 6-inch baking pans with cooking spray and bake even strips. Mix all the ingredients above in a stand mixer (I am sorry for you if you don’t have a KitchenAid because they are glorious) for 2 minutes on medium high. Evenly pour batter into your prepared pans. I had 275 grams of batter in each pan. Bake for 30 minutes or until the rounds pass the toothpick test. Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes then turnout onto a cooling rack to fully cool. Be sure you level your cakes before frosting so everything is nice and flat. Bonus, you can eat the cake scraps to tide you over! Small Christmas miracles!

    I mean, that mixer looks good from every angle.

     The frosting is also very quick to make and surprisingly, booze free. But go ahead and replace the milk with peppermint schnapps if you can’t survive the holidays without alcohol in some form. No one will blame you. For the frosting:

    • 4 cups of Swerve confectioner’s
    • 1 cup of butter at room temp
    • 3 TBS skim milk or your peppermint booze of choice
    • 1 tsp peppermint extract (omit if using peppermint booze)

    Ready? Mix it all together until smooth in your awesome, super quiet, luxurious KitchenAid (I am not being paid by the company to say this, but I probably should be). Now, get those painting tools ready so you can get your inner Bob Ross on and paint tons of happy little trees.

    Don’t forget the sprinkles. I have a feeling Mr. Ross also loved a good sprinkle.

     I picked up star sprinkles, red, white, and green circle sprinkles, and snowflake sprinkles from A.C. Moore because it’s going out of business so I figured everything would be on sale. Everything was on sale. Except for the baking tools and accessories. This is my level of luck or lack there of (I am so getting picked for jury duty tomorrow because of it). I also used a Kelly green and a brown gel dye (I didn’t use the red, but you can if you want to pipe a border…I was unsure if I had enough frosting to do so). Not pictured but definitely needed are crushed candy canes or peppermint crunch. Last but not least, you will need palette knives to paint.

    I always put a hefty amount of frosting into a large bag with a #12 round tip, pictured on the right above, and pipe rounds of frosting in between my layers while assembling my cakes. I didn’t take any photos of this since I was delirious on hour 8 of baking, and because I am pretty sure if you’re here, you know how to stack a cake. I did, however, take pictures of the fully assembled cake with peppermint crunch sprinkled on top as seen below. Once you have completely covered your cake in frosting, get a little wild and sprinkle that peppermint crunch on top, pressing gently into the frosting. Freeze your cake for 30-45 minutes before painting on it.

    I received my third wind after this and was super ready to paint.
    I draw like a three year old.
    Unlike my buttercream mountain cake, I didn’t think freehand Christmas trees were really going to work out too well for me, so I used a toothpick to draw tiny trees on my cake. I had to look outside a few times to be reminded what a proper pine tree looks like because A. I cannot draw and because B. Northwest Florida is absolutely covered in pine trees (yet it’s still summer in December anyway). 
    My painting palette.

     After covering my cake in the white buttercream and freezing for half an hour, I took a glob of frosting, plopped it on a plate, and dyed it brown, mixing with a palette knife. I took a larger glob of frosting and dyed that Kelly green. I ended up having quite a lot of both colors leftover, so I definitely could have done a border around the top of the cake since I ended up throwing this and some leftover plain frosting out (after I ate most of it with an unused palette knife…I told you, with no one around to judge, it’s like a “Cathy” comic in this house).

    I really need adult supervision.

    I started by using my smallest palette knife to swipe on a brown tree stump, then I used the next size up to swipe on green for my pine trees. I swiped up and to the left to make the right side of the tree, coming back in after each swipe to add more frosting to the back of my palette knife.

    I mean, it’s definitely a tree, so mission accomplished.

     I swiped up and to the right to complete the left side of the tree. I found it way easier to paint when I put my cake stand on top of a large, flat mixing bowl so it was eye level but stable.

    SPRINKLES!
    To finish this tree, I added round sprinkles for ornaments and a silver star on top. I lightly dusted the base of the cake board with powdered sugar to look like snow. This will be the only snowfall I experience this winter…
    I really miss snow. The real stuff. Powdered sugar’s great though.

     I ended up painting several more trees, most of them a lot smaller and shorter and dusted with “snow.” I only did one other larger tree with Christmas ornaments on it on the opposite side of the cake from the first tree.

    So darling it almost makes my Grinch heart grow.
    Remember what I said about freehanding trees earlier? This PERFECT example of a pine tree was the LAST tree I made and the ONLY ONE I freehanded. So, go figure. Now I know to just go freehand when it comes to painting with buttercream. 
    It really makes me feel like the holidays are near when I look at this cake. But then I step outside and get very confused because it feels like it’s September.

    To finish, I added tiny little snowflake sprinkles all around the cake (a great way to cover up any errant green paint). Fun fact! Living the heat-soaked South, this cake is the closest I will get to walking through a winter wonderland this holiday season!

    Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, you are so very yummy.

     I am really digging how this turned out. It’s simple but it’s cute. It’s also extremely delicious. I had never done plain peppermint cake before because I am hugely obsessed with peppermint mixed with chocolate, so I am happy I branched out and tried something different says the woman who lives her life with the assistance of three different planners. The peppermint vanilla cake is very light but packs a good amount of peppermint flavor. It’s nice to be able to eat a dessert at Christmas time that doesn’t weigh as much as a small child or a fruitcake. I could (and did) eat that peppermint buttercream all on its own and be perfectly satisfied, but pairing it with that airy peppermint vanilla cake is positively divine, so happy birthday, Baby Jesus! I will really use any reason to bake a cake around here… I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, and I’ll see you back here in 2020. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

    Bold move, putting a cake in front of a mixer that visually stunning…