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We’re only 5 days into March, and you better believe we’ve been amping up for Saint Patrick’s Day in this house for all 120 hours of it. I mean, I ditched my strict 8 p.m. bedtime to go to a Dropkick Murphy’s concert with my husband last weekend, and there is nothing like a little Celtic punk music to really put you in the mood for a St. Patty’s Day celebration…and to remind you that after the age of 30, standing for long periods of time at a concert with result in several day’s worth of back aches and fond memories of pain-free concerts in your early 20s. However, I was feeling inspired to celebrate one of my other favorite baking holidays (T-minus 240 days until Halloween), and I decided to go as big and as wild as the day deserves. This means there would be plenty of booze, plenty of cake, and plenty of green.

And plenty of shine because I have a large addiction to shiny things. Maybe I was a crow in past life.

Mirror glaze Saint Patrick’s cake may be my crowning achievement in a list of the 20+ St. Patty’s themed desserts I’ve made since I began this baking blog 5 years ago. I mean, this baby is so shiny it was hard to get a photo without a ton of glare, but I suppose that’s kind of the point. I’m pretty sure in that bottom right photo you can see the faint reflection of my smug look of self satisfaction for out-caking myself. Four tiers of green ombre caramel cake coated in salted caramel Baileys Swiss meringue buttercream and all ensconced in mirror glazed chocolatey goodness…for under 400 calories a slice. I’d attribute it to the luck of the Irish, but it’s really just because I’m insanely devoted to having my cake and eating it, too, this close to swimsuit season. I sectioned my cake into 12 servings for 365 calories a slice; you could easily turn this into 14 or 16 slices since it’s such a tall cake for 313 or 274 calories respectively. I, however, went more feast over (potato) famine (too soon?) on my servings because I have other Baileys-laced desserts that aren’t going to make or eat themselves this month, so I can’t waste too much time on one cake, even if it is a green, shining beacon of festivity.

And the cake practically makes itself.

So I fell down the rabbit hole looking at extracts on Amazon, which is either a new low or a new high for me, still undecided. I came across caramel extract and thought it would be a great way to add to the Baileys flavor without adding to the Baileys calorie count. I will now be adding this extract into everything I eat for the foreseeable future (that good). To make this 4-tiered, 6-inch round cake, you need:

• 1 box vanilla cake mix
• 2 egg whites
• 10 ounces diet creme soda
• 2 tsp caramel extract
• Gel dye in leaf and Kelly greens

Preheat your oven to 350 and prepare your 6-inch round pans with cooking spray. Dump all ingredients together and blend on medium-high for 2 minutes. Divide your batter into 4 equal servings, each about a cup. Place plain white batter from one portion into a prepared cake pan. Dye another portion with a tiny, teeny amount of leaf green dye, then place into another prepared cake pan. Bake these for 22-24 minutes and set to cool on a cooling rack while still in the pan. While these bake, take the remaining batter and dye one half of it with several drops of leaf green and place into a prepared pan. Dye the last bit of batter with plenty of Kelly green and place into a prepared pan. Bake at same time/temp. Let all your cakes cool in the pans for about 10 minutes before turning out onto cooling racks.

It will be a colorful cooling session.

I knew I was making my cake over the course of a few days, so once my cake rounds were completely cool, I wrapped each in plastic wrap and placed in a freezer bag before freezing overnight. I do recommend this to make frosting easier.

We meet again, Swiss meringue…

So after that incredibly detailed blog post about how I FINALLY won over Swiss meringue buttercream, I’m going to keep this nice and brief. I pulsed my Swerve in the food processor this time though, which did help make it a little less grainy, but no matter how long I cooked my Swerve and egg whites together, I could not get it to dissolve all the way. Since I did not have this problem later with melting the Swerve in the mirror glaze, I’m going to try using more egg whites next time to up the amount of liquid that the sugar has to dissolve itself in. For this recipe, I used:

• 3 egg whites
• 1 cup Swerve granular
• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 2 TBS salted caramel Baileys (could’ve even done 1 more and the frosting would’ve been firm enough for the glaze to stick to…hindsight)

 Definitely see the link above for the play-by-play if this is your first time making meringue. It’s a long process, but worth it for the end result. This was buttery-rich with a smooth Baileys aftertaste. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

The photos aren’t helping.

 Take your frozen rounds, prepare for a crappy photo montage, and start by plopping the white layer on a cake board and frosting with a thin amount of buttercream. I ended up cutting a new cake board to fit the cake’s exact diameter later–do this first and not last like I did to make your life easier when you mirror glaze it. Picture me trying to transfer a fully frosted cake to a new cake round without ruining everything to remind you to do this FIRST. While a funny mental image, I do not recommend. I was cursing in several languages; some of which I did not even know I knew how to speak.

Top with the lightest green cake round, add more frosting, and go!

Add the leaf green layer on top of this, frost, and guess what?

I mean, there’s only one color left, so I feel like you get it at this point.

 Once the layers are filled, use the rest of your delicious Baileys Swiss meringue to place a very thick layer of frosting around the entire cake.

This weighed 15 pounds.

 Smooth out with a bench scraper and a large angled spatula before popping into the freezer for at least 2-3 hours before you pour liquid hot mirror glaze magma on top of it. I have only ever done mirror glaze once before using an American buttercream, so I was nervous at this point that the Swiss would once again be too neutral and not allow the mirror glaze to firmly stick to it. I put this in the freezer overnight while we enjoyed a concert so good, I forgot I had something to worry about. That’s a true testament to the Dropkick Murphy’s.

There’s just so many ingredients…

It had been almost 2 years since my first and only successful attempt at mirror glazing in the form of a galaxy cake. I remembered lots of sweating, but I figured that was because I made it in June. Wrong. It’s the last step in decorating a cake, and the one with the highest chance of things going wrong. I made this cake days ago, and even thinking about it now is making me twitchy. No, it’s not really that hard, I’m just incredibly dramatic when I’m hungry, so I better eat some cake while I finish this. Mirror glaze for this cake required:

• 8 ounces of lime green or white chocolate melts (I used lime)
• 5 tsp Knox gelatine
• 1/2 cup of water
• 1 cup Swerve granular
• Additional 1/4 cup of water
• 1/2 cup of light corn syrup
• 1/2 cup of fat free sweetened condensed milk
• Lime green, leaf green, and Kelly green gel dyes
• Gold star sprinkles 

And every kitchen utensil you have.

 Please see my link above for a detailed account of how to make mirror glaze. It’s blooming gelatin, then cooking your sugar/1/4 c water/corn syrup until bubbly, adding in the condensed milk and gelatin, and pouring on top of your chocolate melts before straining into a large bowl. I go into the minutiae in that blog link though and include a video you can watch. 

There’s no galaxy here, though. Seems very Earth-adjacent.

 I split my glaze into three bowls: one dyed super lime green, one dyed a nice leaf green, and the base of the cake/bulk of the glaze a super dark Kelly green. Let this sit for a minute or two to reach 90-100 degrees.

Cakes elevated to the next level. It’s what I do.

 While your glaze cools off just a bit, take your cake out of the freezer, put it on a vase or jar (I use my butter bell bottom) and place that on top of a pan lined with foil.

This part is as satisfying as it is terrifying.

Make sure you have all your glaze colors lined up, each with their own clean spoon, and work quickly. Pour the Kelly green base color all over the cake, ensuring every last bit is covered in dark green and no white is peaking through anywhere.

Tiger stripe success!

 Then take the other two colors and drizzle them one at a time on top of the Kelly green base until you get a look you like. You can use a large angled spatula to smooth out the top and even out the colors, but I liked how striped this looked. My lime green showed up well, but my leaf green faded into the background a bit. I’d recommend doing lime green and maybe white instead if you want more of a contrast.

Right, the sprinkles.

 Wait for about 5-10 minutes while your glaze continues to drip off your cake. Once this has stopped, top with *hopefully* gold star sprinkles. Because gold and Saint Patrick’s Day are thing that go together. Sadly, my AC Moore was out of gold stars, so I had to settle for silver. I’m not sure any leprechaun is going to be looking for a pot of silver at the end of the rainbow, but it still looked pretty. Carefully transfer your cake to a serving plate and let it rest for a few hours before serving.

Clean and green, baby!

I put my cake in the fridge for a few hours to ensure I could get a nice, clean slice for a photo. I absolutely love how festive this cake is inside and out. There was no half-assing with this cake, only whole-assing for the sake of Saint Patrick’s Day. I’m not even Irish, I just really like the color green. We’ll say I made this for my Irish husband, but we know I’m doing the bulk of the cake eating here.

I did earn it, though. This was 3 days of my life!

 Granted, if you had a normal Saturday with several hours set aside, you could make this magic happen without the aid of four leaf clovers or tiny drunk leprechauns. It definitely would be a showstopper at your Saint Patrick’s Day festivities before Irish Car Bombs start dropping, the Guinness starts flowing, and everyone starts seeing double. I’m sure it would look really cool though with all that shiny mirror glaze blazing in and out of boozy view. Bottom line is this–I will use any excuse to make a themed cake, but I will go above and beyond when it’s a holiday I also happen to fancy. This is my ode to St. Patty’s Day–and it is delicious. Caramel cake with buttery Baileys Swiss meringue and chocolatey sweet mirror glaze…every bite reminds me why Baileys will always be the best baking ingredient in my book. Rich but not too heavy, sweet but not overly so. Who needs a pot of gold when you’ve got an entire cake?! Enjoy your festivities, I’m off to drool over this cake some more and plot my next Saint Patrick’s Day dessert. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

I mean, I would take the gold, too, but I’m fairly certain the cake might be a little lighter to carry…

In all my life, outside of receiving chalky candy hearts in elementary school, I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. I mean, I have “feelings.” I, too, like to take long romantic strolls through Target with my husband, and if I’m being extra sappy, we’ll even make a stop at Lowe’s for his sake. Look, I’ve never been accused of being mushy. I’m a pragmatic romantic–I tell my husband to wait until the chocolates and Shari’s Berries go on sale the day after Valentine’s Day to bring any home. Pro tip: sale chocolate tastes way better than regular chocolate. But I wanted to try my hand at making a chocolate cage cake for awhile now, and I figured Valentine’s Day probably qualified as the most seasonally appropriate holiday for me to do so outside of a super Gothic cage cake creation for Halloween, but I didn’t want to wait over half a year to execute this idea. Besides, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to remind your spouse why they love cake you, so baking a treat from the heart is always a good idea.

This is about as grand a romantic gesture as my tiny heart is capable of pulling off.

This strawberry cake covered in Swiss meringue buttercream (oh yes, it worked this time) and topped with chocolate-drizzled strawberries was the perfect backdrop for a fun, whimsical chocolate cage. I had an amazing time making this chocolate cage. I’m not going to lie–the hardest part about the entire decorating process was figuring out how to cut the cake once the cage was on it. These, my dear friend, are the best kind of problems to have. Whether you attack it with a knife, shovel, or your bare hands, it’s a tasty mix of dark chocolate, sweet strawberry, and buttery-delicious Swiss meringue buttercream. Since it’s already 70 in Florida, nutritional content was most definitely taken into consideration (I have a date with our pool in t-minus 2-3 weeks). This three-tiered six-inch round cake makes 12 servings for only 330 calories a slice (and that’s with a chocolate-drizzled strawberry on top, literally). I’m also going to go on and on about how amazing Swiss meringue buttercream is (even if it is a pain in the butt to make), and it definitely lent itself to this low calorie count for something ensconced entirely in chocolate. A Valentine’s Day miracle!

Thanks, Cupid.

I have not had strawberry cake in ages, and it is definitely in my top 5, so I was happy to try out the low-cal trick to see how it would turn out. Short answer: absolutely delicious. Long, selfish answer: I will not share with you because it’s just too good. To make, you need:

• 1 box strawberry cake mix
• 2 egg whites 
• 10 ounces diet creme soda

Mix all the ingredients together for 2 minutes on medium high in a stand mixer. Preheat your oven to 350 and prepare three 6-inch round pans with cooking spray and line the outside with bake even strips. Pour mixed cake batter evenly into each pan (about 1 1/4 cup into each pan). Bake for 30 minutes, or until your cakes can pass the toothpick test.

“Pink- it’s like red but not quite” (You’re welcome, Mom, lifelong lover of all things Aerosmith).

 Let you cakes cool off in the pan for 5 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack to cool completely. I made my cakes a day ahead of time, so I wrapped these in plastic wrap and put each into a freezer bag before freezing overnight. This made my frosting application an absolute breeze. Do try to freeze your cakes for at least 2 hours before frosting.

65th time’s the charm, Swiss meringue…

I failed so miserably when I tried making maple Swiss meringue buttercream last month, that like any hard-headed, stubborn Capricorn, I simply could not let that stand. I was going to make this frosting pay for making me do something so vile–improvise–when it comes to cake. There are few things I am more passionate about that planning out an amazing dessert to the last detail: Vikings football, my dogs, and napping. That’s about it. So to make this evil Swiss meringue buttercream pay, I used:

• 3 egg whites
• 1 cup Swerve granular
• 1 cup of butter, barely at room temp (I could press the stick of butter and have it gently give way, but not squish flat entirely)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp almond extract
• An iron will and tons of patience

Full disclosure, my frosting turned out a little grainy, but I think that’s because I didn’t whisk long enough while cooking my egg whites (note: more bicep workouts needed). Swerve granular isn’t quite as fine as regular granular sugar, so the next time I make this, I will probably give it a quick swirl in the food processor first. I did use some tricks to make the texture work, but more on that later. First, the arduous prep work.

You’re gonna need a lot of lemon.

 After the last catastrophe, I studied up on Swiss meringue buttercream (yes, I am a nerd, thank you). Swiss’s mortal enemy is grease…and I here I thought the Swiss were always neutral about everything. So wipe down anything and everything that will come into contact with your egg white/sugar syrup. Whisks, mixing bowls, paddle attachments, your soul–all of it needs a good cleansing with a rag soaked in lemon juice.

Once done, crack eggs one at a time into a small metal or ceramic dish. If ANY yolk gets into your whites, dump it out and start over. It will not be able to whip up with any trace of yolk, so use the small dish so you can do this one at a time and not lose a ton of egg whites when the last egg you crack inevitably decides to betray you.

After each white is separated, dump it into the mixing bowl. Once all 3 are added, pour in the sugar. Fill a medium pot with 1 1/4 cup of water and bring to a low boil; reduce heat to a simmer, then place your mixing bowl with the whites and sugar on top of this. You don’t want the water touching the bottom of the mixing bowl, so use a deep pot. Now whisk like your life depends upon it, because for the sake of your cake, it does.

You should continually whisk until your mixture reaches 160 degrees. My arm got sore and I am not an ambi-whisker, so I gave up at about 140 degrees, hence my meringue being a little grainy. Cooking the egg whites to the correct temp will help ensure its warm enough to dissolve all the sugar. You should be able to rub a little of the mixture between your thumb and index finger and not feel any grit–this is when you’re ready to move on (I’d say give it 5-7 minutes of perilous whisking if you don’t have a candy thermometer).

I didn’t take photos during this epic ordeal because I was IN THE ZONE. Sorry. At this point, place your bowl into your stand mixer, turn it on high, and walk away for 10 minutes. You need to let your mixing bowl cool completely while it whips up the meringue, so check on it from 8-10 minutes out to ensure you have a light, fluffy bowl full of meringue. If you do, congrats–you have done the hard part, turn off the mixer and scrape the bowl. If not, do not pass go, do not collect $200. If your bowl is still too hot to the touch (should only be barely warm at this point), put everything in the freezer for 20 minutes and try whipping up again after the bowl is totally cool. Otherwise, there was probably grease or yolk that got in there, and you’ll have to start over. Swiss meringue buttercream is a science, for sure. I should know. I am both a baker and a person who works in a science museum, so this is the best use of my trivial knowledge without a doubt.

Cut all the butter into tablespoon chunks, turn your mixer on medium, and add one tablespoon at a time, waiting until each chunk is incorporated before adding more. Things will get curdly and gross, but this is part of the process. Once all butter has been added, add in your extracts and return the mixer to high for 2-3 minutes, until the meringue is completely fluffy again. You can add in gel coloring now if you’d like, or pour yourself a very large, very well-deserved glass of wine.

Trust me, this part is a sinch compared to that frosting.

After dealing with “all that,” making the chocolate cage and strawberries are an absolute delight. I used one bar of semisweet chocolate, pink and white sanding sugar, a #3 open tip, and several strawberries.

Told you, I plan out everything.

You will need to measure the diameter of your cake rounds and how tall they are stacked together to make your cage. My cakes were 18″ in diameter, and about 4.5″ inches high. So I took two strips of WAX paper (easier to peel off), and cut each to 9″x5″ before very obviously free-handing a pattern for my cage with a Sharpie. Flip over and melt some chocolate!

This looks like the worst hedge maze ever created.

I broke up my chocolate bar and heated on 50% power for 1 minute in the microwave before giving a stir and heating an additional 30 seconds. I mixed it until completely smooth, then poured into a piping bag fitted with a #3 tip. I let this cool for about 20 minutes before piping onto my wax paper guide. Set this aside for 40 minutes.

Oh yes, I get it, Valentine’s Day. I do. Chocolate makes everything sexy.

Once finished with your cage, drizzle lines of chocolate over 6-8 strawberries and immediately sprinkle with pink and white sanding sugar to adhere to the wet chocolate. Set these aside and get ready to frost your cake.

So…smooth.

Okay, as much of a pain it is to make, this frosting spreads, well, like something containing a ridiculous amount of butter. I frosted my entire cake and had it smoothed out in under 5 minutes. The amount of time spent whisking (and praying) earlier felt justifiable for how easy it was to cover an entire cake in this frosting. I spread a dollop onto my bottom layer of cake, and then to help offset the grainy texture that resulted from my impatience and bird-like arm strength, I brought more strawberries into the mix.

Thanks, ingenuity!

I thinly sliced 4 strawberries, placing half onto my bottom layer and the other half onto my middle layer of frosting. If you’re grainy, this is a great way to give another texture–you can also add some sanding sugar so it totally looks like that’s the what you were going for, but I just added a bit more frosting onto my strawberries before moving on and adding another layer of cake.

Thank you, baking gods.

 I didn’t even need a crumb coat since my cakes were frozen, so I lathered on a thick layer of frosting all around and smoothed out with my bench scraper and a small angled spatula, and in no time flat, I had the world’s smoothest cake without any special paper towel tricks or intermittent frosting freezing. Say that three times fast.

If it’s not topped with sprinkles, it isn’t finished.

I added pink and white sanding sugar on top because 1. It’s pretty. And 2. Because I put sprinkles on everything. Then I checked on my chocolate cage. It should be firm to the touch but still pliable. This took 40 minutes for my design. It was still very slightly shiny, but my finger did not disrupt the surface of the chocolate when I touched it. I was told that was the magic moment, so I took each strip and placed it on my frosted cake.

There was lots of breath holding.

 You should be able to gently press the chocolate into the frosting layer to adhere it to the cake. I let this rest for 5 minutes to completely stick.

Reminder: you can breathe now.

Then, I very gently and slowly peeled the wax paper away from the chocolate. This was like that glorious moment when you get a new TV and peel the packaging off, but you don’t get to eat the TV after you’ve done that, so this definitely wins for most satisfying peel-off moment.

Victory!

Repeat with the other sheet of wax paper, and you have won the cake game–go you. It really is quite simple and a lot of fun to make these cages, so I can’t wait to do this again.

Don’t forget the berries on top!

I evenly spaced out my drizzled strawberries, and found I had made one too many. Perhaps I had done this subconsciously so I could enjoy that extra strawberry as a reward for surviving Swiss meringue buttercream making. Thanks, past self. It was delicious.

Loops for dayyyyys.

 It is simple, but it is effective. It’s a romantic cake, topped with sprinkles and strawberries, and the best way to celebrate international card and candy giving day. Well, it’s the only way we are acknowledging it in this house until chocolate goes on sale, anyway. My husband is actually going to a concert with his husband on Valentine’s Day, and I could not be happier for them…they’re the most epic bromance since Matt and Ben or Turk and JD. And this means I get to watch Grey’s Anatomy uninterrupted on Thursday night because I hate happiness. At least I have the cake?

The real MVP.

I gotta say, a super sweet American buttercream just doesn’t do it for us anymore. Ever since going mostly sugar free, that level of tooth-rottingly sweet just makes us gag. The reason I wanted to perfect Swiss meringue buttercream is because it is a still a piping-consistency frosting just without that sickening sweetness. It’s a nice, mellow flavor. A hint of sweet, but mostly smooth and rich. A silky, buttery flavor complimented by the vanilla and almond extract. This is now how I frost my cakes–so that means I get to try to figure out how to add copious amounts of Baileys to a Swiss meringue buttercream before Saint Patrick’s Day. But this buttery goodness and that saccharine sweet strawberry cake are absolutely amazing together. Add in a little bit of chocolate cage and real strawberries, and this is the right amount of decadent. A whole slice leaves you perfectly content, without rotting out any teeth or inducing any gut bombs. Swiss meringue buttercream–you may be difficult, but like most difficult things (hi!), you’re totally worth it in the end. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Now that is a sultry-looking baked good. I’m coming around to ya, Valentine’s Day. Oh no…I’m feeling feelings, but considering they’re about cake, I guess that’s not very surprising. Carry on!

Breakfast is not only the most important meal of the day, it is also my favorite because breakfast is as close as I can get to eating dessert first thing in the morning and still have it be socially acceptable. Pancakes? Waffles? Crepes? Sweet, delicious, and all have one thing in common: they taste best when drizzled with heaping amounts of maple syrup. God bless the (I assume Canadian) person who took one look at a maple tree and just knew it was hiding the delicious nectar of the gods within it. I love maple syrup…I’ve been known to “accidentally” pour too much on my French toast, causing it to ooze on over to my bacon and eggs, covering them substantially in a pile of sticky sweetness to compliment their saltiness. Like I said, closest I can get to dessert first thing in the morning. I decided if I can have dessert for breakfast, why not have breakfast for dessert? And in true Canadian fashion, I wanted to make sure my breakfast dessert was absolutely drenched with maple syrup.

Because maple syrup is magical. Cures any and all illnesses, although you might want to fact check that.

As someone with (French) Canadian heritage, there are three things I hold in extremely high regard: Tim Horton’s, hockey, and maple syrup. You can bet if there was a Timmy’s within a 50-mile radius of me, I’d be eating this maple syrup cake topped with cinnamon streusel and maple syrup buttercream along with a heaping pile of Tim-Bits while watching Hockey Night in Canada. This cake is like eating the lightest, fluffiest stack of streusel-topped pancakes drizzled with pure Canadian maple syrup. I am absolutely gaga for this recipe, and to top it all off, it’s only 310 calories a slice (no stack of pancakes can make the same claim). This recipe yields one 9×13 cake with 16 total servings, and I would be willing to fight a grizzly bear (just not a moose) for the last slice.

It’s so good, I’m considering buying my maple syrup in bulk so I can make it at least once a month. Potentially to have for breakfast or dessert because versatility is important to me.

I know, I waited for the good part: common pantry staples make the cake itself come together in absolutely no time flat. After vertical layer cakes, meringue-topped cakes, and all the other crazy concoctions I’ve baked up in the past few months, making a simple 9×13 cake seemed like a reward for all that hard (tasty) work. To make, you’ll need:

• 1 box of vanilla cake mix
• 3 egg whites
• 6 ounces diet creme soda
• 6 ounces pure maple syrup (you could try sugar free syrup as well to lower calorie content even more)

Mix all of the ingredients together in a stand mixer on medium-high for 2 minutes while you preheat your oven to 350/325 for convection baking and grease a 9×13 pan. Turn your prepared batter into the pan and bake about 28-30 minutes until done. You’ll know it’s ready to come out of the oven when your house smells like Canada.

The smells of syrupy goodness.

 Let you cake cool in the pan for 10 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack to cool completely before frosting. While your cake cools, keep your oven at 350/325 for convection and make your streusel.

Brown sugar Swerve is now a thing!!! Rejoice, sugar-free people!

Streusel is something I had actually never made before, and I now consider it dangerous to know it’s so quick and easy to make. Swerve now has a brown sugar version, and this changes everything. I am definitely going to figure out how to make toffee with it, along with a thousand different cookie recipes. To make the streusel, mix together:

• 6 TBS melted butter
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 3/4 cup of flour
• 3/4 cup of packed Swerve brown sugar 

Stir these ingredients together by hand in a medium bowl until everything has come together.

Like so.

 Things will be a little crumbly, but that’s normal. Spread your streusel out on a Silpat (just buy them, they’re life changing) or Parchment-lined baking tray. Bake the streusel for 6 minutes at 350, then remove from the oven and set aside to cool completely. Once cooled to the touch, crumble it up into finer pieces.

Some larger chunks make for a pretty texture (and taste) when topped on the cake.

Now we come to the part of the story where everything went wrong. I wanted so, so badly to try to make a maple syrup Swiss meringue buttercream. I knew my cake was going to be sweet, even more so with the streusel on top, so I wanted to go away from a traditional American buttercream that is 10000% sweetness. I tried multiple times, but I could not get my meringue to whip up with the addition of the maple syrup, so after wasting like, a lot of eggs and all the pure maple syrup I had, I turned to the pantry to do my least favorite thing in the entire universe: improvise.

Seriously…I sketch out every cake and write out every recipe in full before baking.

Getting thrown a curve ball happens to even the best bakers (I know, I watch the Great British Bake Off), but I was still extremely sad to have to revert to a typical buttercream…especially since I ran out of the “hard stuff,” a.k.a., all my pure maple syrup. Since I guzzle syrup like normal people guzzle water, I typically use sugar free Hungry Jack so I don’t add an extra 13,000 calories to my waffles every weekend. I decided to give it a go and used:

• 1 – 12 ounce bag Swerve confectioners
• 1 cup of regular powdered sugar
• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 4 TBS sugar free Hungry Jack syrup

I whipped my butter, which, unlike my eggs in my failed meringue, got light and fluffy, before adding in the Swerve and two tablespoons of syrup. I mixed well before finishing with the last two tablespoons of syrup and the cup of regular powdered sugar to cut the “cooling” effect Swerve confectioners has on its own. It’s a very sticky, albeit incredibly delicious, frosting, and using the sugar free syrup definitely helped keep it from getting way too sweet when added in with everything else. I had quite a bit of frosting leftover, and I’m pretty sure that’s going on top of English muffins from now until the sad day when it runs out.

It was all I could do to not dive in with a shovel.

 I didn’t crumb coat this cake since I wasted so much time trying to make meringue happen and just wanted to eat a dang slice, so I took a thick amount of frosting and spread it on with a large angled spatula on top. To help smooth it out, I ran my spatula under extremely hot water before taking a few swipes on top to even everything out. I did this again with a small angled spatula to cover all the sides of the cake.

“Shell-o, is it me you’re looking for?”

I originally intended to pipe an interlocking “V” border, but since this buttercream was nowhere near as firm as a Swiss meringue, trying to get a clean line from something this sticky and soft was virtually impossible. Instead I went with a tried and true shell border with the help of a #21 Wilton tip. The classics are classic for a reason, after all.

And they are so very complimentary to the streusel.

My shell border ended up being the perfect basin to hold in all my streusel, so there’s something to be said for happy accidents. Once I piped my border all around the top and bottom edges of my cake, I took my crumbled streusel and dusted it on top of my cake, pressing it down to affix it to the frosting.

Bonus: you can lick your fingers once you’re done with this part!

Ta-da! That’s it…super simple decorations, but it looks absolutely scrumptious. And it is.

Back off, she’s mine!

I woke up in the mood for a slice of this cake, although I resisted somehow because I realized ending my Monday with it would be way more rewarding than starting my Monday with it. Besides, Tuesday seems like the perfect day for breakfast cake anyway. The cake itself is so rich with maple flavor but still extremely light and fluffy. A forkful with frosting and streusel added in will transport you to another plain of existence (located approximately somewhere in British Columbia, Canada). I’m not saying you should put maple syrup on everything, but you should put maple syrup on cake for sure. This is definitely going down in my book as one of the best Kate Bakes Cakes original recipes, and I am so very glad we still have 14 more slices to fight to the death over in my house. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

I mean, check that cake to streusel action. Coffee cake wishes it looked this fine.

I was combing through my previous December bakes and found a startling number of peppermint desserts. Consider me basic in both fall AND winter, apparently. There’s only so many ways you can mix peppermint into desserts, and I’ve pretty much done all of them. This meant it was time for my least favorite thing in the world: stepping out of my minty-cool comfort zone and finding a new flavor to deck the halls with. Needless to say, the answer was booze. I mean, isn’t always? I decided to bake with an old favorite: Rumchata. Now, if you’ve never had the pleasure of drinking Rumchata, let me set the scene. Remember pouring yourself a giant bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal as a kid, letting it get a little soggy (R.I.P. roof of mouth), and by the end, you’d be left with this ultra creamy, cinnamon milk goodness? Yep–that’s exactly what Rumchata tastes like. I figured cinnamon + booze = acceptable holiday offering. ‘Tis the season to be boozy, fa la la la la la la la *hiccup.* I knew I also wanted to decorate in a winter theme because quite frankly, it may be the only winterscape I view in Florida (Hi, it’s 69 degrees today, and I am sweaty and upsetty).

For my Florida readers, this is not a beach cake. It is a winter cake. Winter is a season generally marked by cold weather, immediately following Autumn, another season that, never mind, you don’t need to know this. You’ll never experience either.

Topped with white chocolate snowflakes and cool-swirled meringues, this blue ombre Rumchata cake with Rumchata buttercream frosting is TO DIE FOR. It’s boozy, but not in an, “Oh boy, my throat is on fire,” kind of way. A forkful of this cake starts off with a vanilla flavor and is followed by a creamy hit of cinnamon Rumchata goodness that lingers just right. I also added some extra cinnamon to the buttercream to take it over the top. It is soft, it is flavorful, and it is so moist thanks to the booze. I always find boozy bakes cook out the alcohol, leaving rich flavor and a moist cake behind (cake hangovers are far superior). This is a 3-tiered, 6-inch round cake with 12 servings, at only 341 calories a slice sans meringue or snowflake. Adding in those extra elements will total out to 356 calories a slice (oh yes, they are most definitely worth it). Trust me, this cake, frosting technique, and snowflake technique are INSANELY EASY. Meringues on the other hand…well, keep the Rumchata bottle handy, cause you’re gonna need it…

I had no idea Rumchata came in bottles this small. Would’ve been useful information in college.

The base of this cake starts out with a box mix, and it stays pretty straight forward. You need:

• 1 vanilla cake mix
• 3 egg whites
• 4 ounces of diet creme soda
• 8 ounces of Rumchata

Now, you could forgo the soda and use all Rumchata, but it will definitely cost you in the calorie department since Rumchata is basically cinnamon sugar in liquid form. Whip up your egg whites on medium-high in the bowl of a stand mixer until fluffy, 3-4 minutes. Preheat your oven to 350 and prepare three 6-inch round cake pans with bake-even strips and cooking spray. Once your whites are fluffy, add in the cake mix, soda, and liquor. Blend on medium-high for 2 minutes, then evenly pour the batter into your prepared pans. Bake for 25-28 minutes, and then let the cakes cool in their pans for 5-10 minutes on a cooling rack. Turn these out of the pan and onto the racks to cool another 10 minutes before wrapping in plastic wrap and letting freeze for several hours (boozy cakes are sticky, so this will help when you frost your cake later). You can make your snowflakes and meringues while you wait. Because it will take you 17 hours, a phone call to a priest, and a lot of cursing to get these meringues made.

Have I scared you? Good. Use that fear.

Let’s start with the easy and quick snowflakes. I Googled “snowflake piping template,” copied and pasted the image into a Word doc, resized a few, and printed out. I set my templates under some Parchment paper and grabbed about 1/3 of a bag of white chocolate melts, melting in a large bowl in the microwave according to package directions. I poured my chocolate into a piping bag fitted with a #3 Wilton tip. I let this cool off for 5-10 minutes, so I could handle the chocolate without burning my hands too much. I piped out a bunch of snowflakes by tracing over my templates, but I still had a ton of chocolate leftover, so I free-handed stars and other little quirky designs. You only need like 6 snowflakes to decorate the cake, unless you’re taking a hard pass on the meringues, then go snowflake crazy. Once piped, let these rest while you make your meringues; alternatively, if you’re terrified of making meringues, let these sit on the counter for an hour or so before handling. Use a small angled spatula to gently lift off the Parchment and place on your cake.

Tiny but adorable. Super easy to make, so definitely don’t skip this part!

Now, my next move was to make meringue. I studied several blog posts, websites, and baking videos. I felt confident I could do this. I’m also super into Pavlovas, and I need to know how to make meringue in order to eat my desired number of Pavlovas per year (I’m guessing about 50). I could still be studying how to make meringue, and it never would’ve properly prepared me. Much like earning the love of a good man, walking in 6-inch stilettos, or driving a manual transmission–you just have to go all in.

I mean, how hard can cracking three eggs be, right? Oh past, naive Kate…

Meringues are simple enough where ingredients are concerned:

• 3 egg whites at room temperature
• 1/4 tsp cream of tartar
• 1/2 tsp clear vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup of Swerve granular

I HIGHLY recommend going to view this video and extremely lengthy blog post about how to make a decent meringue. I could spend at least 6 blog posts detailing this process, but I have an entire cake to go eat, so go check that out and get my CliffNotes version here. Basically, you whip your whites, tartar, and vanilla on medium high until the whites begin to get stiff. Then, while the mixer is still running, dump in the sugar very slowly, allowing it to become fully dissolved before adding in any more. When you have extremely stiff peaks forming in your bowl (i.e., you can stop the mixer, pull up the attachment, and the meringue stays perfectly put on it, you’re there).

Piping can be a bit tricky, but I am here for you.

I preheated my oven to 215 and lined a large baking tray with Parchment. I then fitted several piping bags with (from left to right) an Ateco #869 tip, a #1M tip, a #2D tip, and a #32 tip. I painted the piping bag with the Ateco #869 tip with 4 stripes of blue gel dye, then plopped some meringue in. I then piped large mounds (seen in blue and white below), before taking plain white meringue, making some stars and large mounds with my 1M tip and some roses with my 2D tip, and then dyed what I had leftover with a tiny drop of blue gel dye and put it in my bag with my #32 tip and piped smaller stars and swirls.

I was so full of hope.

Before everything went wrong, looking back, I could’ve easily prevented some disasters from happening (hindsight is a cruel mistress). I should have put my meringue in the fridge to keep it firm while I piped with different tips. My roses were last, and my meringue was not as cold, so these completely lost their shape in the oven and turned into blobs resembling dog poo. I also did not need to cook these anywhere nearly as long as I had found in my meringue studies. My oven cooks very, very hot, so I should have pulled the plug around 40 minutes; I was terrified to open the oven door and check on them though, and the oven light didn’t show signs of burning, but by the time I hit 60 minutes and turned the oven off, my smaller pieces were tanner than I have ever been in my life. Thankfully, the bigger meringues were only slightly tanned, so they made the cut.

You really need a watchful eye with these because the second they all *look* done, turn your oven off, crack open the door, and let your meringues continue to fully cool in the oven and finish up. Next time, I know to pay closer attention to the timing. But burnt or not, the pieces I didn’t use on my cake still tasted absolutely delicious. For science!

Thanks for saving the day, tiny Rumchata bottle.

 Thankfully, frosting this cake is an absolute breeze, even if it looks time consuming with the end result. Honestly, it took me 5-10 minutes from start to finish/assembly to fully frosted. The magic of piping bags, baby. For the frosting you need:

• 4 ounces of 1/3 fat cream cheese at room temp
• 1/2 cup of butter at room temp
• 1 tsp clear vanilla extract
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 3 TBS Rumchata
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• One 12oz bag of Swerve confectioners

Blend the butter and cream cheese for 2-3 minutes, until fluffy and fully mixed. Add in the vanilla, cinnamon, one TBS Rumchata, and the 2 cups of powdered sugar. Blend on medium-low until just mixed, then add in the Swerve and last two TBS of Rumchata. Blend fully until you have a nice consistency for piping. Divide your frosting into thirds. One third will stay white, one third will get a few (3-4) drops of blue gel dye, and the final third will get about 6 drops of blue gel dye.

You want a gradual color change, nothing too intense.

  Place each of these colors into their own piping bag fitted with a #12 round tip. Now, get your cakes out of the freezer and place one layer face down on a cake plate.

This is the opposite of the Target logo.

I wanted a neat surprise inside of the cake, but not one as time consuming and crazy as another damn vertical layer cake (I came, I saw, I conquered, I ate). So I took my white frosting, piped out a few circles on the outer edge of the cake, then took my lighter blue and piped a few circles on the middle of the cake, and then took my darkest blue and piped the middle. Then I took an angled spatula and smoothed out:

Like a delicious bullseye.

I took another layer of cake, placed evenly on top of this, and repeated my swirled filling. I took my final layer, placed it face down on top of this, and then got ready for an easy ombre frosting job.

I swear I was not drinking the Rumchata when I did this.

Basically, starting at the bottom of your cake and working your way up, pipe out several lines of dark blue on the bottom cake layer, several lines of light blue on the middle cake layer, and pipe white lines on the last layer and the top of the cake. This takes like 2 minutes. You don’t have to be exact, it doesn’t have to look good, you just need a nice thick layer around the cake.

The best baking tool you could ever buy is obviously the bench scraper, because it can take you from hot mess to totally flawless in one swipe. Like the cake equivalent of a beauty blender.

I placed a bench scraper parallel to the side of my cake, pressed it gently into the side, and turned my cake table slowly. After a full rotation around my cake, I cleaned off excess frosting from my scraper, and took another pass. I repeated this a third time and all my colors had been blended together nicely. I used an angled spatula to smooth the top of the cake and then, because I have a real problem with Florida’s lack of seasonally-appropriate weather, added sanding sugar to the top to look like snow. It will be the only snow I see this month, guaranteed.

The weather outside is frightful(ly hot), but Rumchata cake is so delightful…

I then grabbed some snowflakes, stars, and a few meringues and gently pressed them into my cake to achieve my desired look, or as I’m calling it, “What I wish it looked like when I stare out my window.”

Instead, I shall settle for “What it looks like on my plate.”

I love the cute little pop of color the frosting layers on the inside of the cake have. I am definitely going to use this technique again on the future to add some flare to the inside of a cake the easy way.

Looking at this cake makes me feel so cold inside. I love it.

It may not ever dip below freezing here in Florida, but thanks to baking, I can fake it until I make it to Tahoe in January. I’m prepared to freeze my entire butt off, and I could not be more excited about the prospect. I just want to be an environment that makes my cold little heart feel right at home, what can I say. Aside from my near meringue meltdown, I had a ton of fun getting in to the season baking and decorating this cake. But anything filled with tons of booze generally helps liven up the holiday spirit anyway. Peppermint is great, but Rumchata is next level holiday goodness. It’s simple to make, and the flavor is anything but. It’s buttery and smooth, sweet but not too sweet (yes, this is a thing), and the Rumchata lingers on your tongue like Rumchata was made to do. It’s definitely a cake that will give you a holly jolly Christmas. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

I can almost remember what it feels like to not be a muggy hot mess when I look at this cake, and that’s the greatest gift of all.

I have been dying to get into my new kitchen and bake, but we have been so busy between moving into the new house, cleaning out the old house, having a spectacular time in Canada for our annual vacation, and pretty much having the best worst problems you can have as an adult that prevented me from doing so. We’ve been so busy that I didn’t even decorate the outside of our new house for Halloween this year…I’m afraid all our new neighbors will think I’m normal. The horror. Halloween snuck up on us this year, like any holiday based around spooky spirits and mischief should, really, but I am so thankful that I at least had a few evenings after work to create one creepy cake before my favorite day of the entire year.We may have been the schmucks standing in line with the masses at Spirit Halloween for last minute costumes (my own personal hell–fitting, since I decided to go as the devil this year), but I will be damned if I have to do last minute Halloween dessert. To me, cake is a form of expression, and since the outside of my house looks completely normal, I amped the spookfest up to 11 inside. Literally, there’s a dead guy trying to crawl his way out of my Halloween cake. Because, little known fact, Zombies also enjoy the taste of cake flesh (this is what I’m solely calling frosting from here on out). Prepare for a combination of “oohh” and “eww” with this vertical layer chocolate and vanilla cake with Salted Caramel Baileys buttercream frosting, chocolate ganache, skull decor, and delicious zombie fingers:

That’s right, this way you get to eat the zombie and not the other way around.

For real, best fingers I’ve ever eaten right next to chicken. These were super easy to make, but then again, I think after making the vertical layer portion of the cake, rocket science would’ve felt easier, too. I tried a different approach from my last vertical layer cake, and this almost ended in near disaster and the saddest Halloween since my final year of being allowed to Trick or Treat. Thankfully, I could pull this one together and perform a resurrection of my nearly dead idea. This cake hits all the flavor high notes–not as spongy as my last vertical layer cake for sure, so the flavor shines much better. A combo forkful of vanilla layer mixed with chocolate layer, a thick slathering of Bailey’s frosting (cake flesh), and a finish with smooth, rich chocolate ganache, and this cake is what I shall call “spellbinding.” I save a huge bite of Oreo dirt crumbs, ganache, and frosting for last, and it’s so good I forget who I am for a minute. I am then reminded that I am a woman who friggin’ loves to eat cake, which is why I managed to knock this recipe down to 340 calories a slice for 16 slices total because it is technically one a half cakes, and I am technically the kind of person who sees that as a personal best eating challenge. Maybe next year I’ll just dress up as a racoon and rifle through cakes and desserts at a Halloween party “in character.”

I mean, I made a great devil (irony?), but I’d be an even better Trash Panda.

Now, if you’re afraid to be haunted by a cake wreck, you can always skip vertical layers and make three 8-inch round cakes each in orange, purple, and black, and still make this amazingly stunning-yet-gross-looking cake. But there is something to be said for the vertical layers here because they really add to the cake’s spooky scale. To make, you’ll need:

• One box vanilla cake mix
• 10 ounces diet creme soda
• Orange and purple gel dye
• 2 egg yolks
• Meringue (see below)
• Half a box of chocolate cake mix
• 5 ounces diet cola (I used Cherry Coke Zero)
• Black gel dye
• 1 egg yolk
• Meringue (see below)

To make the meringue, you need 6 egg whites, 1/4 cup Swerve granular, and a stand mixer. Beat the egg whites on high for 5 minutes, until stiff peaks form. Blend in the Swerve on low. Set this aside in another bowl and prepare 2 jelly roll pans with foil: make two gutters–one for each cake color–on your first pan. You only need one gutter on your second pan. Spray with cooking spray. Preheat your oven to 350 and clean out your mixing bowl. Dump the vanilla cake mix, 2 egg yolks, and creme soda in. Mix on medium-high for 2 minutes. Take 2/3 of the meringue, and fold in on low until just mixed. Now, take another medium bowl (hi, we’re using ALL your dished for this), and dump half the prepared cake batter into in. Dye one half of your cake mix a very deep purple and the other half a bright orange. Pour each color into a prepared foil gutter:

Oh yeah, it’s about to get festive.

My new oven and I are still in the “Getting to know you” stage, but so far it has very pleasant, melodic alert tones (so soothing), the inside is bright purple (it’s awesome), and it broils faster than the sun (sorry, tostadas), but convection bakes evenly. I ended up baking these for 16 minutes before resting on a cooling rack for 10 minutes still in the pan. I then tried “the towel rolling trick” used for jelly roll cakes…which I beg you not to do. Later, my unrolled and fully cooled cakes broke apart so easily that it was a tragedy and close to a Level 10 meltdown on my end (have some sympathy for the devil). Since I made these the same as my last vertical layer cake, this step was the only difference and led to tons of breakage instead of a few cracks here and there. Just flip your cakes onto Parchment paper, remove the foil, and let them finish cooling, sans towels, on top of a cooling rack while you make your next cake.

Pictured: a huge mistake.

While your purple and orange cakes cool, clean out your mixer bowl…again…and mix together half the chocolate cake mix, the soda, the remaining egg yolk, and blend for 2 minutes. Add in the black gel dye, mix well, and finish by folding in the last of the meringue on low. Turn into the final prepared gutter and bake until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean. Cool using the steps above until room temp.

I have never needed Baileys more in my life than in that towel incident.

I have not made my Baileys frosting in ages, so this seemed like a natural (and tasty) choice for a cake with vanilla and chocolate flavors. You’ll need:

• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 1 TBS of clear vanilla
• 2 12oz bags of Swerve confectioners
• 6 TBS Salted Caramel or regular Baileys
• Lime gel dye

Whip the butter in your super used and abused stand mixer bowl (sorry) until fluffy. Add in the vanilla, 3 TBS Baileys and one bag of Swerve. Blend well before adding the final bag and final 3 TBS of Baileys. I like to stand close to the bowl and let the scent of Baileys completely wash over me. I don’t really drink, so this is my version of a contact drink I guess. Dye this SUPER DUPER LIMIEST OF LIME GREENS. Because lime green and black are the superior Halloween color combo (no one likes you, orange). Set this aside and turn your attention back to those vibrant cake strips!

If this was a color swatch, it would be labeled “Shrek green.”

Once your cakes are cooled, cut the ends til they are even and trim the sides as needed so they’re all the same width. You don’t need as much of the orange cake, so you can trim about a 1/3 of it off and eat the scraps. You’ve earned this. Now, slather each strip with a thick layer of frosting and get ready to roll. Starting with the orange cake, gently roll up like a carpet (I’ve still got moving on the brain, apparently). Once rolled, set on the edge of the purple cake so the ends meet. Roll this onto the purple layer and continue rolling until you reach the end of that layer. Carefully place this massive stack of cake on the final black layer, ends meeting, and roll up. Things will crack here and there, which is fine, since cracks can get covered with frosting.

Definitely getting a Franken-vibe…

Roll your cake into several layers of plastic wrap and place on a cake round. I gently smooshed my cake on all sides to make sure the frosting layer was distributed evenly. Place this in the freezer for at least 2 hours to firm and set. I left mine overnight and put my remaining frosting in a Tupperware for the next day.

Soooo many hiding cracks…

Thanks, cake flesh, for covering the massive cracks all over this cake. Much like how my human flesh covers all my cracked joints (I assume, since everything pops a lot for no reason), this layer hides the boo-boos (not ghosts) of the towel rolling incident. When your cake is set, simply coat in a thick layer of frosting, ensuring you’re using a lot of frosting in any areas with cracks to glue things together and create an even coat. You could crumb coat, but I skipped this since my cake was totally frozen and didn’t have any crummies. I placed into the freezer for 30 minutes before removing to smooth out with the paper towel trick and putting back into the freezer for another 30-45 minutes (it was dinner time) before adding ganache. Ganache is liquid-hot magma, so you want an extremely firm buttercream before it goes on.

Time to make corpse fingers! Yeah!

With the cake fully prepped, it’s time to move on to the delightful step of making dead guy fingers. I am strange. For the fingers, you need:

• 5 pretzel rods, cut into the size of your fingers
• 1/2 bag of lime green chocolate melts
• 5 almond slivers
• 8 Oreo thins, cream removed, possibly eaten…but do crush the remaining wafers
• Parchment paper 
• Toothpick

Once you’ve got the pretzels cut, melt your chocolate according to package instructions in a small but deep dish or Tupperware. Dip a rod all the way into the melted chocolate, then gently tap the rod on the side of the dish to remove excess coating. Gently set onto Parchment paper and place an almond sliver on top to give it a fingernail. Repeat! I made extra because I was sure I’d screw a few up. I think that’s called being proactive self deprecation?

Like giving yourself the finger.

 Let these set up until they are no longer glossy, then take a toothpick and gently roll little lines in to create knuckles:

This was a lot of fun and totally creepy.

 Give these at least 30 minutes to finish setting before you put them on the cake. While you’re waiting, make your ganache by dumping 2 TBS of skim milk and 1/2 cup of semisweet chocolate chips into a bowl. Melt on 50% power for 1 minute, mix, and repeat if needed. Pour this into a liquid measuring cup and let it cool and thicken for 5-10 minutes.

Frankenstein’s monster? Is that you?

Decidedly, you could forgo the fingers and just make this Frankenstein’s monster’s head and pipe on eyes, mouth, and bolts. BUT the fingers are the piece de resistance, so stay the course. Pour ganache on your cake and smooth out with an angled spatula, pushing ganache onto the sides. Sprinkle Oreo crumbs in the middle of the ganache where the fingers will be clawing their way out of the cake.

Oh yes. Full spookiness achieved.

Carefully wiggle each finger into the cake to make it look like a hand is coming up out of the ground. I pretty much modeled how this would look with my own hand (ominous) and then put into the cake with that image in mind. Even after picturing my hands crawling out of the grave, still wanted cake, so a testament to my gluttony.

Always finish with sprinkles. Always.

I had these adorable skull sprinkles leftover from my witch hat cookies, so I created a border around my cake by gently placing into the side one at a time. This took it to the next level for me and was a great finishing touch…from a cake that could reach out and touch you, so that’s saying something.

Alternatively, he could just be waving hello.

Let your cake sit in the fridge for a few hours to firm up the ganache before serving. Since you want to be able to slice clean layers, a chilled cake will really help with this. You will get some Oreo crumbs in your layers when you slice, but they’re worth it for the dirt effect they give.

A few crumbs, but still, totally Halloween appropriate.

The COLORS are so bright and still so spooky and perfectly Halloween. I am so happy this cake still turned out okay even with the massive cracks from the towel incident. Thank God cake flesh can hold it all together! This really is one of my favorite Halloween bakes of all time, and since it was a labor of love with the vertical layers, I appreciate it even more and think that this definitely helped make it taste even better (but it’s probably just the Baileys). While I spend actual Halloween night with all the lights off, hiding from children (my #1 nightmare), I’m just extremely happy I get to spend it with this cake, too. Each bite has amazing flavor, and those fingers are flipping delicious. I am going to watch Hocus Pocus and Nightmare Before Christmas about 5 more times in the next three days, ensconce myself in black and skulls, and just really let my weird little light shine because “This is Halloween!” The most wonderful time of the year! One of the last days before you’re hit in the face with Christmas music for two months straight and sanity-questioning gift shopping. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

Peek-a-boo!

The first 21 years of my life, I had no idea what Autumn really looked like. In West Texas, one day, leaves had trees, the next, they did not. It was always 90 degrees most of October, and I distinctly remember wearing shorts to several Thanksgiving dinners. So when I moved to Michigan at age 22, imagine my surprise when I realized leaves were supposed to turn beautiful colors, not just fall down dead; gorgeous boots (not cowboy) and flannel everything could be worn in October; and dear sweet baby Jesus, apples. Apples everywhere. My mom always talked about going to a cider mill, but in my early 20s, I was just way too cool and still way too Texan for something that sounded so…Midwestern. I remember walking into Yates Cider Mill in Rochester Hills for the first time. I experienced a fundamental shift in my being–watching the cider press at work, smelling fresh apple cider donuts and streusel-topped apple pies…in that moment, I became a fall devotee. I had yet to learn to love pumpkin (give it time), but cider mills and Michigan will always hold a special place in my heart. While I can’t get behind Michigan’s lack of left turn lanes and freakish love of coney hot dogs, but it is really on to something with all those apples. I have lived a lot of places, but I’ll be damned if any of them do fall justice more than Michigan. So here’s my tribute: an apple cider cake with cinnamon chip ganache and apple cider cinnamon buttercream frosting.

Fall is for more than pumpkin spice, y’all.

It’s still a real feel of 109 outside in Northwest Florida, so fall is happening exclusively indoors this year. When this cake was in the oven, I was magically transported back to my first cider mill trip (I was a lot sweatier than I remember, though). My house smelled like the inside of a box of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios; in fact, it still does an entire day later. Just try to bring me down, Florida! My entire being is wrapped up in cider-scented goodness with my indoor fall decor providing me enough fervor to fake it til I make it. I am definitely veering into feelings-eating territory, so it’s a good thing this insanely moist, apple-cinnamon-y cake only runs 355 calories a slice. Whew. There’s not a “loose flannel” season around here; in fact, we’re moving into a house with a pool next month, and I figure I’ll be using it until mid December at this rate.

While drinking *cold* cider…

Super simple ingredients, to boot! I am all about corner cutting because as both a lazy person and a person who hates being hot, I like when my oven is on for very short increments. To make this yummy ode to fall, gather:

• 1 box of vanilla cake mix
• 2 egg whites
• 10 ounces diet creme soda
• 5 packets sugar free instant cider mix
• 2 apples, peeled, chopped finely, and tossed in lemon juice (to keep from browning). I used Honeycrisps (Gala or Jazz apples would also work perfectly)

Preheat your oven to 350 and grease three 6-inch round pans, or two 8-inch pans, or one 9×13 pan. I will say the next time I make this, I will go the 9×13 pan route–the apples make this cake very moist, so cutting clean slices from a three-tiered cake is next to impossible because the structure just isn’t dense enough. But even if it ends up in a sloppy pile on a plate, it is still the best cake I’ve eaten all year. And that’s saying something because I eat like, a ridiculous amount of cake.

Mix together the cake mix, egg whites, soda, and cider packets for 2 minutes on medium high. Fold in the chopped apples by hand. Pour the batter evenly into your prepared pans (don’t forget the bake-even strips!), using the back of the cake box to tell you how long to bake based on the size of your pan. I baked mine for 28 minutes in 6-inch pans.

Apple Heaveeennnnn.

When a toothpick comes out from the cake clean, it’s done cooking. Let your cakes rest in the pan for 10 minutes before very gently turning out onto a cooling rack to cool off a bit. I recommend placing the cakes either on the cooling rack or wrapped in plastic wrap into the freezer for a few hours. The rounds are delicate because of all of the apples in them, so you want them slightly frozen so they won’t rip or crumble while you’re frosting and assembling later.

Everything’s better with butter–including apples.

Once your cakes are firmed up in the freezer, start on your frosting. I passed time by sipping on a mug of mostly cooled off apple cider, but maybe you’re fortunate enough to live somewhere where you can have hot apple cider in mid September without bursting into flame while you decorate your apple cider cake. Consider me jealous. For the cinnamon cider buttercream, you need:

• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 2 cups of Swerve confectioners
• 2 cups of regular powdered sugar
• 1 heaping tsp of cinnamon
• 1 packet of sugar free instant cider mix prepared–you will use 3 tablespoons of prepared cider

Cream the butter until smooth, then add in the Swerve. Blend on low until mixed, then add in the powdered sugar, cinnamon, and three tablespoons of cider. Mix well.

Now grab those cakes!

 Place your first layer of cake on a cake board, then slather on a nice layer of frosting. I use a piping bag fitted with a #12 round tip to pipe a circle of frosting on the cake top, then smooth out with an angled spatula.

Twice as nice.

 Add the next layer, slather with more frosting, and then get ready for the final layer.

Thrice as nice isn’t as catchy, but more cake is always a winner.

 Put a large amount of frosting on the top of the cake, smoothing out and pushing the excess off and down the sides of the cake. Remember to use a soft touch when spreading frosting all over the rest of the cake. These babies are fra-gee-lay (it must be Italian!).

You’re getting hunnngrryyy….

 Once a decent layer of frosting was slathered on my cake, I took my angled spatula, pressed it flush horizontally to the sides of my cake, and turned my cake table around, gently dragging my spatula as I went, creating a swirl all around the side of the cake. I started in the center of the top of my cake and swirled outward, keeping the tip of my spatula horizontal while spinning my cake table slowly. It created a pretty nifty swirl pattern I’ve always wanted to try out. Honestly, I was going to make this a naked cake, but I knew it would be too delicate to scrape the sides, so I did my least favorite thing ever and improvised! Seriously, I sketched out this cake before I made it. I leave nothing to chance, so having a last minute decor change threw me so far outside of my comfort zone I may as well have been lost in an IKEA (same feeling of hopeless despair, but without the Swedish meatballs).

Literally the hardest ingredient to find.

 Put your full frosted cake back into the freezer for about 30-45 minutes. You want your frosting crusted in order to handle the hot ganache. Once ready, dump 1/2 a cup of cinnamon chips (seriously, I can only ever find them on Amazon) and two tablespoons of skim milk in a medium bowl. Heat for 1 minute on 50% power in the microwave, whisk, and repeat heating one last time. Whisk until completely smooth, then transfer to a small liquid measuring cup. Let this sit for 10 minutes to thicken.

Then pour some sugar on cake…

Drizzle ganache over the top of the cake evenly, then use an angled spatula to push the ganache over the top so it can gently drip down the sides. Put your cake back in to the freezer (for the final time, I swear).

Pictured: winging it!

 I was also going to pipe mums on my cake for optimal fall decorum, but my frosting wasn’t thick enough. Winging it once more all for the sake of cake (I would do anything for cake, including inciting my very own panic attack), I took the remainder of my frosting, dyed it a light peach shade, and put it into a piping bag with a #21 open star tip. Starting in the middle, I made small rosettes by swirling out and around my center starting point.

I continued all the way around my cake.

 I could’ve stopped here, but I was mad with misdirection and…freedom? from my original plans, so I found my fall sprinkles. Nothing is ever done if it hasn’t been topped with sprinkles or sparkles (except maybe your taxes. Don’t top those with glitter unless you like your chances of passing an audit).

But, these are really cute sprinkles.

 I bought these off Amazon last year (they’re Wilton brand fall sprinkles). I wasn’t sure if I’d have the chance to use them this year, but lucky me, my original plans falling apart entirely! I placed one sprinkle in the center of each rosette, and decided to pipe a shell border at the bottom of my cake…sheerly because I had an insane amount of frosting leftover. I may have cried a little throwing away about 1/3 of my frosting leftovers. It was that or eat it all in one sitting, soooo…

I pressed leaves into the front of the shell border to finish my cake:

It wasn’t what I planned, but it still looks like Autumn!

…which kinda works. I didn’t plan on becoming obsessed with fall the day I walked into Yates Cider Mill, but fresh apple cider donuts will make you a believer, man. I mean, if I could spend all day eating cider donuts and then napping on alternate hours, I’d be living my dream. Sadly, this is neither good for my health or conducive to supporting my dogs, so instead I’m baking the best tribute to fall I’ve ever come up with in my crazy brain while sharing my intense love of the season with all of you. Every forkful brings something to the table–cider flavor, cinnamon bursts, and sweet chunks of apple. I’m going to look into how difficult it might be to petition to make this cake the new Thanksgiving dessert regular–move over pumpkin pie. It’s that good, people. But never fear, I’m sure I’ll come up with something pumpkin-spiced to heaven soon so that I can live up to my full Basic White Girl™ potential. I promised my husband I wouldn’t go near pumpkin spice until the actual equinox, so I’ve got six days (not counting or anything) to make that happen. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!

This apple dream boat will keep me happy for now!

Lately I’ve come across some stellar cakes on Pinterest that have bucked the rules and said no more to typical horizontal cake layers. Instead, stunning vertical layers are found resting inside, usually in some gorgeous color combination. Most normal bakers would see that and think, “What a unique look. I can’t wait to try that out.” I think you’ll be in no way surprised my first thought was, “Oh man, when you turn a cake sideways, you can fit like so much more frosting inside it.” I’ve pretty much made it my mission to try to get a perfect 1:1 ratio of cake-to-frosting with each forkful, so to manage to make this a reality was a crowing achievement for me. I also tried my hand at watercolor decorating the sides of my cake, so I was going all out into new, uncharted territory here (who am I?!). Happy to report this vertical blue ombre coconut cake with orange flavored buttercream turned out to be a delicious success.

It was almost too pretty to eat. Almost.

Not gonna lie, I was super nervous about trying this out. I figured at worst, we’d end up having some really colorful cake pops if the vertical layers all crumbled when I tried rolling them up. I’ve been trying this new thing, I believe it’s called optimism, where I see the silver lining in situations. I’ve been wearing florals, trying to be peppy, and viewing the glass as half full instead of asking why the glass doesn’t have wine in it. I realize the irony in me trying to be a ray of sunshine when the actual rays of sunshine are zapping my will to live (so, so sweaty). It may be endless summer here, but at least I baked a cake that perfectly encapsulates it: a blend of coconut white cake and citrus-filled frosting; I hear Florida likes oranges or something. Together, these flavors are perfect. Sweet and zesty, with a nice piña colada aftertaste. And naturally, it’s low cal. Only 279 calories a slice for 12 slices. This makes about a 7″ cake when flipped and rolled up, so it’s a cute but substantial little lady.

That requires a boatload of eggs.

I was feeling adventurous, but didn’t want to waste a ton of ingredients if I ruined everything in the process. So to make a quick but effective (I mean, it’s so pretty) vertical layer cake, you need:

• 1 box cake mix. I used white since I knew I wanted to dye it different shades.
• 6 egg whites
• 3 egg yolks
• 2 tsp coconut extract
• 10 ounces diet creme soda
• Dyes: I used sky blue, electric blue, and royal blue Wilton gel dyes
• If you’re also an anxious hot mess like I was at this point (I am so great at leaping to the worst possible scenario: ruined cake), might I recommend a paper sack to breathe into or some Klonopin. I hear it’s wonderful. 

Preheat your oven to 350 (I did 375, but my cake bottoms got a little too browned), and get ready to make foil art!

Not pictured: the tinfoil hat I was thinking of making.

 If you’re not interested in dying your cake layers different colors, just throw some Parchment down on a half sheet pan (18×13 inches) and lightly grease before pouring in all your batter. I used foil to create sections. I used 2 of these pans but only needed 3 sections, so my other pan had one tinfoil section only. Lightly spray with Pam and set aside.

Get ready to whip it. Whip it good.

In my research, I found that just about every vertical layer cake gets its flexibly sound structure from meringue, so I separated 6 eggs, holding on to 3 egg yolks for later. I whipped all 6 egg whites on medium high for about 5 minutes. You’ll know things are ready when you can lift up you mixer’s whisk and both stiff peaks have formed in the whites and the bit that stays attached to the whisk isn’t dripping. Carefully transfer this to a medium bowl, then mix together the egg yolks, creme soda, cake mix, and coconut extract for 2 minutes on medium high. Fold in your fluffy egg whites gently by hand to keep as much air in the cake as you can.

And pray to the baking gods this turns out right.

 I then took 250 grams of plain white cake mix and spooned it into one half of my prepared pan. In hindsight, I’d do half white, half much paler blue next time. There was a lot of white on the inside of the cake, so another transition color for the ombre would’ve made it perfect. I then took 125 grams of white cake mix, set it in a bowl, and placed a small amount of sky blue dye with it and mixed before turning out into half of one of my little foil gutters. I took another 125 grams of white cake mix, set it in the same bowl, and dyed this electric blue before turning out into the other half of the foil gutter holding the sky blue cake mix. Carefully smooth out, trying not to disrupt between the two blues too much. Finally, I dumped whatever was left (scale be damned! ..but seriously, I can’t live without my digital scale) into the same bowl and dyed royal blue before putting into my last foil gutter and smoothing out.

Slightly browned, but still edible!

Now, bake one sheet at a time unless you’re lucky and have double ovens for 10-12 minutes at 350. The cake should be peeling from the edges of the pans and springy when touched. Place baking sheets on cooling trays and let cakes rest for 5 minutes. Then place some Parchment paper on top of each section and gently flip the foil/cake off the baking sheet and on to the cooling rack. Lift off the foil and let cakes cool completely. You can try rolling them up into the Parchment paper at this point if you want to, but honestly, I didn’t, and my cakes didn’t tear apart beyond repair. I let everything cool completely before trimming the edges so all my cakes were exactly the same width.

And then made a mess of my kitchen.

While my cakes were cooling (which, when they’re less than an inch thick happens in about 5 blinks of an eye), I made my orange buttercream. I used:

• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 2 12 ounce bags of Swerve confectioner’s
• 1 TBS vanilla
• 1 tsp orange extract
• 6 TBS skim milk
• Dyes: sky blue, electric blue, and purple

I ended up not using any regular powdered sugar to cut the Swerve as I usually do; this cake was going to live in the fridge so the rolls stayed, well, rolled, and I find when Swerve is served cold from the fridge, it doesn’t give off much of that cooling effect it does when it’s at room temp. You could always use 24 ounces of regular powdered sugar, but this will drastically change calorie count (a cup of Swerve is about 44 calories; regular powdered sugar is 480 a cup).

To make, cream the butter for a minute or two before adding one bag of Swerve, the extracts, and 2 TBS of milk. Blend on low until incorporated, then scrape the bowl before adding in the other bag of Swerve and 4 more tablespoons of milk. Mix well, then grab your cooled cakes.

The moment of truth…

Slather a thin layer of frosting onto each cake. Remind yourself to breathe, and get ready to roll. Literally.

Some breakage, but still cake!

Roll up the white layer first from the short end, since it will be the inside of your cake. Things will crack and break, but the frosting will help hold everything together. The world’s most delicious glue! Take the end of the white cake roll, and place it flush to the lightest blue shade of frosted cake. Continue to roll up. Place this flush with the final layer of dark blue cake and roll up. Flip that cake and set it on it’s side (now bottom). What you have should look like this:

Cinnamon roll adjacent.

As you can see, I was cracking up. Well, the cake was, too, but not to worry. Wrap your cake roll tightly into two layers of plastic wrap, and then place into the freezer to firm for an hour. All cracks will get covered with frosting later, but again, you can try rolling these up when they’re still warm if that bothers you.

Like a straight jacket for your cake. Stop the cracks!

While this is setting up, make sure your frosting gets covered up as well. You can leave it out so it stays at room temp and is easier to spread. Once your cake is firmed up, spread a thin layer of plain white frosting all over the top and sides.

Remember, if you’ve made it this far, you’re kicking so much ass.

I used enough frosting on top to completely cover up the edges of the roll and create a flat surface. You don’t need as much on the side if you’re watercolor decorating it. I took my remaining dye (there won’t be a ton, but you don’t need much), split it into three bowls, dying one sky blue, one electric blue, and another purple.

And then I went crazy, from the looks of it.

I used a small angled spatula to swab blotches of each color all over my cake, trying to layer colors vertically (everything about this cake is vertical, apparently) instead of horizontally because things will get blended together. I then took my bench scraper and gently scraped the edges of my cake, causing the frosting to blend together. I cleaned off my bench scraper before giving a second pass. Then I came back in and added small splotches of various colors anywhere that looked too empty or didn’t have much overlap. I finished up by first smoothing only those new splotches with my small angled spatula and then giving a final once over with the bench scraper.

Thinking about peacocks for some reason…

Definitely use colors that will look pretty when blended together. Purple and orange won’t look nice blended together, and no one likes ugly cake. They’ll still eat it, but it’s the principle of the situation. You can also watercolor the top of your cake, using a long angled spatula to smooth instead of a bench scraper, but I had florals on my mind (I told you, I’m a regular ray of friggin’ sunshine).

I never miss an opportunity for sprinkles, people.

I placed my remaining frosting into three bags fitted with piping tips:

• a 2D tip for the purple
• a 32 open star for the electric blue
• a 16 open star for the sky blue

I made roses around the entire border of the cake by swirling my 2D tip in a circle, starting in the middle of a small section of border and swirling my way out and around. I came back in with the electric blue and made large stars by piping a mound of frosting and quickly pulling away. I did these at random, but tried to cover up any weird white space between or under roses. I finished up by using the tiny tip on the sky blue frosting to make the littlest, most adorable stars to fill in any remaining white space. I had about 6 tablespoons of frosting left, and maybe mainlined one bag onto some cake scraps and ate to sample the goods. This is why you never throw away cake scraps until you’re totally done decorating. You’re welcome.

And then, of course, I added sprinkles. A finishing touch is a finishing touch.

Brownies:

• Hocus Pocus Boooook! gluten free brownies
• Buckeye brownies 
• Bewitching fudge brownies with captivating cream cheese swirls (Halloweeny AND low cal!)
• Cookies and cream Oreo-stuffed brownies
• Chocolate peanut butter brownies (low cal!)
• Rolo stuffed brownies with Baileys frosting
• Brownies stuffed with Baileys cream cheese filling
• Baileys brownies with Guinness ganache 
• Mint swirl brownies with mint buttercream
• Chocolate chip cookie dough layered brownies

Bars:

• Pistachio sugar cookie bars (low cal!)
• Pumpkin toffee bars (low cal!)
• Orange Creamsicle bars (low cal!)
• Low cal peanut butter cheesecake bars with chocolate crunch crust
• Healthy lemon bars (low cal!)
• Blueberry crumble bars
• Toffee s’mores bars
• Cinnamon chip pumpkin cookie bars

 Cookies:

•  Dark chocolate cookie cups with Baileys cheesecake filling (low cal!) 
•  Cranberry white chocolate chip cookies (low cal!)
• Bewitching pinwheel cookies
• Lazy cake mix cookies (low cal!)
• Pumpkin whoopie pies with pumpkin cream cheese filling
• Witch hat cookies for Halloween
• Texas sheet cake cookies
• Boozy mint and chocolate whoopie pies
• Mint chocolate chip cookies
• Peanut butter kiss cookies and caramel bars 
• Cinnamon roll cookies
• Peanut butter cookies and lemon cookies
• Cookies that will stay fresh for weeks

Fudge/ice cream sandwiches:

• Mint chocolate swirled fudge
• Homemade ice cream sandwiches

I work in a museum, which means during the summer, things get a little intense what with the bajillion tourists, kids being out of school, Florida being hotter than the surface of the sun and us having A/C, etc. As most of you with children know, school is back in session in many places this week, including the county I live in. So I am breathing a deep sigh of relief that I might have a work week where I don’t have to tell a child not to: feed our exotic animals french fries, run at a full sprint by expensive exhibits, try to pocket gift shop items, scream at the birds…The list is long, and I am tired. So tired. As someone who never wanted children, summertime in the museum industry only reaffirms I have made the right life choice for me and my sanity. So to celebrate my bravery for not spending half of summer hiding under my desk from children (think Mad Max: Toddler-dome), I brought together two of my favorite things: chocolate and Baileys. I know…I make a chocolate-Baileys-something at least once a month (I have to cope somehow; it’s this, or I run away to Canada), but this is a brand new combination: a sinfully delicious dark chocolate cookie cup filled with Baileys chocolate cheesecake.

I mean, damn.

A single bite of one of these cups, and I forget all my troubles. Well, most of them. I’m still generally tense when I hear the sound of a child’s laughter, but that will pass in a few week’s time. These. Cups. Way more than one bite (trust me, I tried), and so yummy it’s almost a transcendental experience to eat one. The dark chocolate cookie cup is so divine, and the lighter flavor of the Baileys chocolate cheesecake is the perfect pairing–it starts off decadent and finishes on all the right notes. Rich, but not too bold. Boozy, but not too overwhelming. If you’re celebrating your children going back to school, or if you’re a teacher, and the above hot mess I described is now your problem instead of mine, do yourself a favor and make these cups to either celebrate or cope. Dealer’s choice. Did I mention they’re only 230 calories a cup? And the recipe makes 20 cups–plenty to share with your celebrating MOPs group or shell-shocked fellow educators.

Everything starts with butter.

With a few easy ingredients, these cookie cups come together in no time flat. You’ll need:

• 1 cup of butter at room temp
• 1/2 cup of Swerve granular
• 1 cup of Truvia brown sugar blend
• 2 cups of All Purpose flour
• 1/4 cup of regular cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup of dark cocoa powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla

Preheat your oven to 350 and grease the hell out of two muffin tins (regular size). Cream the butter and sugars for 3-4 minutes until light and fluffy. While your stand mixer is earning its keep, sift together the flour, cocoas, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl. Once your sugar/butter magic has happened, add in the eggs, one at a time, mixing well and scraping the bowl between each. Add the vanilla and a third of the dry mix you set aside. Blend until just incorporated, scrape the bowl, and add in another third of the dry mix. Repeat one last time.

I just wanted to eat the cookie dough all at once…that’s how broken my spirit is after summer.

 Take a cookie scoop, grease it, and then drop two scoops into each muffin tin to make 20 cups.

Instead, I used my stress to fuel the flattening process. Coping!

Then flatten out each cup, ensuring they are relatively uniform and evenly flattened out. You don’t want the sides/edges to be too high up from the rest of the dough or they will cook too fast and burn by the time the rest of the cup is ready. We’ll indent later! Bake for 12 minutes at 350. The center will still be very soft and not all the way set; this is a crucial component in order to shape the cups, so don’t over bake!

1/4 cup scoop, the perfect fit.

After you remove from the oven, place the muffin tin on a cooling sheet and get a 1/4 measuring cup out. Use it to gently but firmly press into the top of each cookie to create a well. I sprayed my measuring cup with cooking spray to keep it from sticking and ruining the cups. Repeat for all 20 cups, and then leave them alone. Walk away! No touchy! Let these cool off for 10 minutes, then use a dull butter knife or angled spatula to loosen the edges of the cups from the side of the tin. Once none of them are sticking, let these cups continue to cool off in the muffin tin until completely room temp. The residual heat from the pan will help the centers firm up.

Real tempting not to dig in with a spoon, though.

But worth the wait. Edible cookie bowls are the best kind of bowls. Deal with it, burrito bowls. You’ve had your moment.

Once fully cooled, finish removing from the pan and leave on the cooling rack. Time to prep that cheesecake filling! –Best prep work there is!

Because, booze.

This cheesecake filling is pretty light and fluffy, which goes against my general cheesecake belief that it should be so rich and so heavy that I need both a shovel and an iron will to eat it. But, considering how absolutely decadent the chocolate cookie cups are, a lighter cheesecake filling is necessary to offset the texture and balance out the flavors *just* right. You can always use less Cool Whip if you still prefer a heavier cheesecake, but I honestly think the cheesecake has the perfect amount of density to pair with the cookie cups. Any heavier and I might have trouble finishing a whole cup…and this is coming from the queen of eating her body weight in dessert, so heed my advice. For optimum cheesecakery levels, gather:

• 8 ounces of 1/3 less fat cream cheese at room temp
• 1/2 cup of Swerve granular
• 1/4 cup of Baileys
• 1/4 cup of melted semisweet chocolate chips, cooled
• 8 ounce tub of Cool Whip Lite (why can’t I find Cool Whip Free anymore?!)

You are perfect in every way, fluffy filling. Like a Wendy’s Frosty with Baileys. Mmm.

Start by blending the cream cheese and Swerve for 2-3 minutes until well mixed and not grainy. Add in the melted chocolate and Baileys. Mix very well. Drink with a straw for…reasons. Or don’t. I don’t know how rough your summer was, so I won’t judge you if you actually drink this with a straw (it’s delicious). Either way, finish up by gently beating in the Cool Whip. I put my filling into the fridge to firm up for 30 minutes because I wanted a nice piping texture; alternatively, you could just spoon the filling into the cups then chill and set for an hour. I’m a glutton for punishment, so I waited before loading up a piping bag with a large French tip by Ateco and the cheesecake filling.

Pipe away!

 I piped mounds, rounded twists, whatever I felt like for each cup. Not completely uniform but fun and carefree…two words I generally do not associate with myself (unless Baileys is involved). But because I’m also vain and a perfectionist (yep, those are the right adjectives), I finished off these beauties with a pièce de résistance: sprinkles.

Everything is better with sprinkles.

These cookie cups chocked full of boozy brilliance do need to live in the fridge during their very brief survival time before total consumption occurs. I do, however, nab a couple to sit out for 10 minutes so the cookie cups soften up before inhaling. Worth it. I have had these on my Pinterest board for months–waiting, not so patiently–for summer museum season to end so that I could bake these beauties and celebrate my survival. I’d say I’m also celebrating for my sanity, but that’s checked at the Florida state line until we move. ‘Til next time, my fellow eaters!